Way Back Into Love
by IpodPrincess
Summary: Serena, was content with herself and never expected what would happen when she arrived at her High School Reunion. Or even the events that followed that would change her life forever. Now life will never be the same. SDAU
1. Prologue

Way Back Into Love

Prologue

_June 1995_

People often say that you will never meet your soul mate at the age of seventeen. At least that's what Serena Hunter and Darien Shields had been hearing repeatedly over the last several months. Not that it mattered to either of them what others had to say. When it came to their relationship there was nothing better at giving them advice than their hearts.

The car slowed as it turned the last bend before pulling off the main road and onto a narrow worn dirt path. Music blared loudly out the open windows, breaking the calm of the silence. As the road came to an end, the headlights glinted off the stillness of the lake. The moon's reflection sparkled like a mirror on the surface, a warm change from the bleak darkness of the country roads. A house sat to their right, sounds and lights flooding out the doors and windows.

"It's about time you two finally showed up!"

Both Serena and Darien, bodies stiff from the long drive ambled out of the vehicle and towards the voice. Shielding their eyes from the intense light, they clasped their hands together as they approached.

"Well if your directions hadn't been so vague we probably would have been here as quick as you guys," Serena grumbled stopping at the first step up to the porch.

Raye laughed, taking another sip from her beer she shrugged. "You've been here before, figured you would have remembered." Her eyes on the two of them she stared for a moment. Serena looked down self-consciously, still in her prom dress. "Why haven't you guys changed yet?"

Serena looked from her own formal gown to the tuxedo Darien still wore. The tie and buttons to his shirt undone revealing his white undershirt, but she couldn't help but admire his form in it anyway. "We just got here," Darien breathed running his hands through his hair annoyed. "Don't bother us."

Before Serena had a chance to say anything else Darien was leading her away from the house and towards the beach. "What are you doing?" she gasped as he continued to tug her towards the shore. Raye had disappeared into the house once more, leaving just the two of them out in the night air.

"Being spontaneous," he teased. He stopped turning her to face him; his eyes twinkled in the light of the moon. All other noise seemed to crease as the two stood staring at each other in that moment.

There was no other time that she could remember being this happy. _Everything is perfect,_ she thought brushing a stray strand of hair out of his eyes. He grinned leaning forward, kissing her forehead affectionately. Happiness never seemed so close and attainable before, and yet everybody they knew had been trying to put a damper on them. Change was one of the most inevitable laws of nature, they had said. It happens when you least expect it and can turn the happiest memories into sorrow and pain.

Lately, that seemed impossible for the two of them. They believed they could conqueror anything as long as they had each other. Darien pulled her closer, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her close.

"Do you think life will ever get better than it is now," he breathed inhaling softly. The sounds of music carried down from the house but neither moved. To content with life to be bothered.

Serena stayed quiet for a long while, the words swirling around in her head. "I hope so," she finally answered. He squeezed her causing her to giggle. "I mean, it's only high school. Isn't this when real life is supposed to begin?"

Darien chuckled, it reverberated through her and she couldn't help but smile. "As long as I have you, nothing else matters." She sighed, leaning her head against his chest. Her eyes slide close as she listened to his rhythmic breathing. "I have something for you," he said breaking her silent reflection. He lifted her with his forefinger, until their gaze met. Stuffing his hand in his pocket, he searched for something. A moment later he pulled out a thin gold chain, hanging down in the center was a small heart shaped pendant. Her face immediately lit up at the sight of the necklace, she knew it well. It was the one she had been talking about for weeks, the heart shaped locket she had coveted since she had seen it in the magazine.

"How? Why?" she spluttered, all eloquence gone. He chuckled again reaching over and clasping it easily around her neck.

"I am guessing you like it then," he teased. "You have been talking about nothing else the last couple of weeks." She blushed deeply, glad that they stood in semidarkness sure that he could feel the heat of the blush on her skin. He winked fingering the locket in his fingers, clicking it open he smiled. "Besides now when you go off to New York, you will be carrying me everywhere, so you can remember how much I love you."

Her eyes met his and she leaned forward, their lips meeting in one effortless moment. "I love you," she breathed eyes still closed. They stood there for a long moment, wrapped in each other embrace.

_ Nothing will ever be the same again_, she thought _nothing could be better than this._


	2. The Invitation

_Way Back Into Love_

_Part 1: _

_February 2005_

Chapter 1

The Invitation

As the sun set beyond the horizon over the Hudson River, Serena sighed watching the fading hues of red turn into a dark night blue. Leaning back into her seat she swiveled back and forth, her class would be starting in twenty minutes. She knew she should get going, but couldn't pull herself away from the sunset. There was something about that particular shade of blue; it brought comfort and an odd sense of familiarity she hadn't felt in years.

"You know if you plan to ever make it to your class on time, you better get moving now," a voice called from over her shoulder. Serena turned startled, having completely forgotten she wasn't alone; her co-worker Melvin sat smiling teasingly. His hair a mess and brown eyes hidden behind thick bi-focals, yet one of the nicest guys she knew. Ever since she had started teaching at the college Melvin had been her saving grace in figuring everything out but even more so when she needed a friend. Melvin sat behind his desk typing away on his laptop, looking up for a moment he chuckled. "I do wonder why you always tend to get sucked into those sunsets. You're going to be late." He finished in a sing song voice watching her amused.

Serena stood reaching for the stack of papers that needing to be returned to her students. "Oh Melvin, I never realized you knew my schedule so well." She sighed again, turning off her desk lamp and searching for her keys under the mass of what she called a disorganized organization of her desk. "And I know I tend to be a couple of minutes late every once in a while but…" her voice trailed off as she located the keys hidden under a pile of freshman papers she had thus far neglected to grade. Adding them to the pile of paperwork she stuffed them into her briefcase haphazardly, _for later review_ she thought. Scooping up the newly found keys she stuffed them in her purse, moving quickly towards the door.

"Will I ever understand what it is about you and sunsets? All I know is you become inattentive when you start staring into one," Melvin mused chuckling lightly, looking up from his own pile of papers he was grading. "One of these days the gamma rays are going to blind you."

"Not funny Melv, see you tomorrow morning for the department meeting and this time I will most certainly provide the coffee," she called over her shoulder as she hurried down the office corridor. She rounded the corn just as she shouted something unintelligible, her heels clacked at the pace she walked, a reassuringly familiar sound. Too late to worry about what he had called out she pushed up the staircase door, sweeping passed a few students she recognized. Waving in greeting she checked her watch again as she reached the top of the staircase. Pushing the door to the landing open she continued to hurry down the corridor finally reaching her classroom with a sigh of relief. Smoothing down her pants suit she opened the classroom door smiling warmly at the students already assembled inside.

Serena was greeted with the light chattering of the students as she took her place at the front of the room by the rickety old metal desk. Setting her bag down on the desk, she began to unpack her belongs. Pulling a stack of the dreaded blue books out, she placed them in a neat pile next to the rest of the materials for the lesson. A few students intuitively stopped talking while several of the other more juvenile students continued to carry on loudly.

Smiling at a few of the students, Serena's eyes peeked at the clock; she would be starting in a few minutes giving the last of the stragglers a few extra minutes to arrive. Sliding onto the cool surface of the desk she cleared her throat, calling the class to attention. "Good evening everyone, I hope you have all had a good day. Now, let's get started shall we?" she asked eyes narrowing on the two girls in the back row who rudely continued to carry on in spite of her request. The brunette was the first to realize what was going on and smacked her friend's arm, a moment later they both smiled apologetically, cheeks flaming. "Moving on," Serena continued cheerfully, "I have some good news. I hope you all remembered today is our second in class essay!"

Groans echoed throughout the classroom. Picking up the blue books Serena split the stack in two, distributing them among the room. As the students passed them along, Serena gave a few last instructions before letting them begin.

Settling into her chair, she resigned to losing herself in her thoughts; the papers could wait. Her eyes roamed over the class taking in the very different styles of all of her students. Teaching night classes had both positive and negative aspects. The negative was how late the class would get out but the positives far outweighed them. She loved the diversity among the students, not just culturally but the age demographic was completely different. These people _chose_ to be here more times than not, they were working professionals who took the class seriously. Not like some of the day courses where it was like teaching high schoolers with all the drama. Her eyes stopped on an older Hispanic woman who was anxiously scribbling into the blue book stopping every so often to look up a quote. Violet, she remembered, had taken several of her classes and was known for stopping in at office hours. While some of the other professors found her quite irritating Serena was completely enthralled by this woman's story. Serena had spent many office hours emailing and chatting with her. She was a woman who was able to conquer for trials that Serena never hoped to face.

Taking a moment she thought back on herself, life was good. That much was certain she truly had nothing to complain about. Serena found herself being a popular English professor at the Borough of Manhattan Community College; of course it had its draw backs. The money wasn't exactly what she would be making at a huge university but it was enough. Being one of the younger fulltime faculty members, and newest on staff the timetables were ghastly. Yet she enjoyed her job enough to deal with all the negatives. After all, she was living and working in New York City, one of the greatest cities in the world; what more could she want.

As the last student handed in his essay, Serena began to gather her belongs. Walking out of the building she smiled, the only thing on her agenda tomorrow was the department meeting and then she would be free to enjoy her weekend. As she headed towards the subway entrance a couple blocks east she noted the February weather was colder than usual. Serena pulled her pea coat more tightly around herself as the brisk winter wind burned into her cheeks, sent a shiver through her bones. Either way she loved this city, it had been a dream of hers to live here, and now she was actually able to say she had achieved it. Although she swore breathing in the city air was taking year away from her life, she adored it anyway.

By the time she reached her apartment, the exhaustion had taken over. Sluggishly unlocking the door, she pushed it open throwing her bag haphazardly onto the couch. _First things first,_ she though heading straight to the refrigerator; slipping out of her coat she hung it on the hook behind the door. Pulling on the white handle she peered inside, Lita had not left her anything which meant she would just have to wait. Shutting the door with a thud, Serena checked her watch, it would be a while. Changing out of her work clothes and into her favorite pair of sweats, she settled in to watch some TV while grading the neglected papers. Reading through the first few she couldn't help but wonder why none of the students bothered to read their papers through a second time.

She hadn't noticed the appearance of her roommate until she heard the door closing behind her. Lita sank into the cushion next to her with an exasperated sigh. "Here," she muttered, one hand rubbing her temples the other shoving an aluminum take out container in her general direction. Serena smiled, opening the lid to reveal the delectable contents. "Smoky pork chops with spicy applesauce and garlicky succotash," Lita explained without opening her eyes, leaning further into the couch she rested her feet on the coffee table.

"Oh, how I love a roommate who is a profession chef." Before Lita had a chance to respond Serena was up and back with a knife and fork in hand, devouring the food.

Lita smirked, sure Serena had changed a lot over the years but not when it came to food. Whenever food was concerned, Lita wasn't sure if Serena actually tasked her food, it was more like watching a vacuum cleaner. Reaching over, Lita picked up the stack of mail, thumbing through it and separating them into two piles. As she reached the bottom of the stack, two identical envelopes caught her attention. One addressed to each of them.

"Watcha looking at?" Serena managed through a mouth full of food. Lita ignored her, opening the ivory envelope. Serena watcher with an eager expression as Lita's face lit up, all previous exasperation gone. "What is that?" she asked again, swallowing the mouthful of food while trying to read over Lita's shoulder.

Lita turned, grinning. "Has it really been ten years?"

Serena stared confused, what was Lita talking about. Her friend was known for random tangents but this one didn't make any sense. "Ten years since what?" she asked, taking another fork full of food still trying to peer at the paper in Lita's hand.

"Our high school graduation!" Lita reminisced, finally passing the invitation to Serena. "Wow, so much has changed since then. God! I miss the girls. When was the last time we were all together," Lita mused, shaking her head. "Back then we were inseparable, now if it wasn't for Mina…"

"And her nosy self, we would probably never talk," Serena finished. Her eyes glossing over the invitation, a bewildered expression crossed her features. "It really has been ten years. Are you going?"

"Of course _we_ are going!" Lita exclaimed befuddled. Turning to face one of her best friends, Lita gave her _the _look. The look that implied the topic was absolutely nonnegotiable and it was absolutely incredulous that another option could be discussed. "And yes, I did say we because both of us are going. Don't give me any excuses Serena, the whole gang is gonna want to go to this and you know it won't be the same without you."

"I don't know if I could miss work, and what about you?" A whole weekend with someone _else _running your kitchen at the restaurant?" Serena asked trying to stale for a reason, some loop hole. Serena raised her eyebrow at Lita letting the thought sink in. The idea of travel back to Michigan wasn't exactly her ideal situation. Yet if the whole gang was going to be there, back together, it would be great and it had been ages.

Lita took a good look at her friend, Serena's inner battle obvious through her facial expressions. That was one thing that hadn't changed, Serena's emotions were always clearly written on her face if you knew how to read her. Lita's laughter brought Serena back to the present. "What?"

"You think you're so slick, don't you. Don't try turning this around on me." Lita huffed. "Trying to convince me you don't want to go. Come on! It will be so much fun. Think," she said arm moving eccentrically as she spoke. "Mina, Amy, Raye, you and me all back together, the trouble we could cause. Can you remember the last time we were all together?"

"Mina and Andrew's wedding, what like four or five years ago," Serena answered, sitting up she stared at the invitation in her hands, her heart beating more rapidly. The truth, if she was honest with herself, was she wanted to go. Getting together with the old crew seemed like a great idea. Serena sighed, uncertainty creeping over her. On second thought maybe she didn't want to see _everyone._ "I dunno."

"What's the big deal!" Lita exclaimed, jumping to her feet at the sound of keys in the lock. The front door opened a moment later, Lita rushed towards the tall, dark haired man at the door. "Ken, you will never believe it. My ten year reunion is coming up. Can you please help me convince Serena over there to go with us?"

Ken chuckled, leaning over he kissed Lita affectionately in greeting. "Oh Sere," Ken began pulling away and taking a seat on the love seat opposite her. Serena handed over the invitation and replacing it with a hefty stack of papers still needing to be graded, trying her best to prove to them her busyness. "You know that you are going to have to relent now, and just agree to go, right? Is it really worth fighting this losing battle?"

Serena rolled her eyes looking over at Ken with Lita sitting comfortably on his lap hugging him tenderly. This was nothing out of the norm, they had been dating for over three years and engaged for almost a year now with no definite wedding date. They were enjoying each other's company and their own blissful happiness. Serena often found herself watching them and couldn't help but be happy for the two of them. Lita had truly found her soul mate that much was obvious. Besides, Ken had become like a brother to Serena in the last three years and she couldn't imagine her, or Lita's life without him being there.

"Tell me Ken, why am I going to have to go?" Serena asked, leaning back and crossing her arms squarely over her chest expertly balancing the papers on her lap. "I really don't see how you could persuade me anymore than Lita could?"

"I could beg you," he teased, winking at her playfully. "And besides if you don't go, Lita will be mad at me and then I will be made at you."

Serena laughed. "Oh the logic!"

Ken thought for a moment before he spoke again. "Oh, yeah well and one more thing. Lita over here will stop bringing you all the food you love so much."

"That's low."

"But completely accurate," Lita joked, shaking her head in agreement.

Serena stood to her feet collecting her things. "I will only promise you that I will think about it, nothing more." Bidding them goodnight she escaped to her room closing the door behind her. Sinking onto the bed she contemplated the situation, it wasn't necessarily that she didn't want to go; it was more about the fact of being forced to go.

Knowing Lita, she would be making a call to Mina at this very moment. An unintentional sigh escaped her. She and Mina had been best friends since they were in diapers, born less than four months apart. Their mother's had been friends and in turn they had grown up together. They had endured the terrible years of ballet and dance classes, awkward developmental years of puberty, and high school together. Mina was known for her ability of getting people to do exactly what she wanted, and this was most definitely Mina type event. Everybody back together, and the worst thing was Serena was positive that after Lita placed that call to Mina, sooner or later Mina would call her with a plane ticket already booked.

******

"Good morning!" Melvin greeted walking into the office and dropping his things onto his desk. "You're here early." Serena popped out of her own thoughts long enough to hold up the cup of coffee she had bought him, lite and sweet, just the way he liked it. Melvin smiled, taking the cup of coffee from her thankfully.

"Been avoiding the phone at home, long story," Serena explained. Melvin raised an eyebrow but asked no more. Each turned to their work, getting ready for the departmental meeting

"Oh, I meant to tell you to expect a call from Simon today. Something about the syllabus changes for next semester." Serena nodded flipping through a few files. After a moment she leaned back into her chair annoyed. Melvin was shaking his head, exasperation written across his features. "Have you ever noticed how all of the students overly rely on the spell and grammar check but don't read through their own work?"

Serena laughed, nodding. "Oh yes, and no one seems to understand that they can't just copy and paste a whole paper from different internet sites." The two laughed together before settling into a comfortable silence.

Serena jumped at the sudden noise filled the room, heart racing she realized it was only the phone. Picking up the phone still preoccupied she put it to her head. Before she had a chance to say hello, she was greeted with a very upset ranting Mina. It had been a week since the invitation arrived and Serena had been dodging Mina's calls as best as possible. "I cannot believe you! I cannot believe you are even thinking about not going to the reunion. I am so mad at you Serena Morgan Hunter! You are coming to this reunion if I have to fly to New York and drag you by that blonde hair!"

Serena peered over at Melvin, he was attempting his best to hold back laughter. Serena groaned inwardly, turning away and staring out the window berating herself. Why hadn't she bothered to check the caller id? "Hi Mina, it is nice to hear from you too," she greeted sarcastically. "How are you?"

"Don't, hi me!" Mina screeched back. Serena could tell she was pacing back and forth by the way she was huffing as she spoke. "Serena, you have to come. Everybody is coming. Lita, Raye, and Amy have all confirmed." Taking a deep breath, she slowed down only for a moment. "You need to be here, come on. Besides Andrew and Cody both want you to come."

Serena laughed; she didn't doubt Andrew wanted her there so Mina could stop bugging him with reunion stuff. It had been a while since she had been home to see her older brother, nephew, or mother. Christmas but even then she had only stayed for a few days before heading back to New York for the winter semester. Serena thought about Andrew, they had been so close growing up; he had been one of her closest guy friends. It was still funny to think of him and Mina together, considering they had never gotten along in high school. Now ten years later, they were married with a three year old son.

"I dunno, Mina," Serena sighed ignoring Marvin's facial expressions.

Mina breathed hard. Changing tactics when she spoke again her voice resembled a whine. "Serena, you have to come. It's going to be so much fun, please. It's been forever since all of us have been together. Believe me it took some doing but I convinced both Amy and Raye to clear their schedules for the weekend. And we are going to _finally_ meet the infamous Greg. I have the whole weekend planned out already! Please!" Mina begged.

"Mina, is this seriously why you called me?" Serena mused already knowing the answer.

"Yes!"

"Well, it's great to hear from you too! Everything here is going well," she continued sarcastically. "You are so one tract minded."

"Serena, once I have my answer then there will be plenty of time for all the pleasantries," Mina explained concisely.

Serena sighed knowing there was absolutely no way she could wriggle out of it. It wasn't that she didn't want to go, she did. It was more like whether or not she would be able to handle it. Staring out onto the Hudson River, she exhaled, slowly shaking her head in defeat. "I'm in."


	3. Long Time No See

Way Back Into Love

Chapter 2

Long Time No See!

"I'm so excited!" Mina squealed, squeezing the steering wheel tightly as she maneuvered her way through the streets of Weston Michigan with ease. Serena nodded, smiling; Mina's enthusiasm always had a contagious effect, even now after all these years.

"I mean, I know you and Lita live together and get to see each other all the time, but come on. It had just been to long since the five of us have gotten together like this. We should totally make this a yearly event."

"Yeah, I know," Serena agreed leaning back and taking in the familiar scenery. "I just can't believe that we haven't gotten together sooner. It really had been a long time coming." Serena twirled the ring on her finger absently, eyes on the passing streets; memories bombarding her with every passing street. "I can't believe that Amy and Raye were so willing to come too."

Serena shot a sideways glance at her friend who was smiling guiltily in return. "Well, let's just say you were a little easier to convince then Raye. Amy just needed a little push in the right direction, I mean after all she did have to clear her schedule for a whole weekend." Serena laughed; Mina was unable to take the smile from her face.

Pulling into the parking lot of the small diner so much of their high school years had been spent, realization finally dawned on her, she was back home and going to see everyone. The diner looked almost exactly the same as it had since the last time she had visited. It was considered a greasy spoon, a burger and fries kind of place that had and still was one of the most popular places in town for the high school population. Climbing out of the car the two girls headed towards the entrance, Serena noting that Mina did not lock the car doors.

Pulling opening the door the aroma of fried foods wafted through the air. Memories flooded her senses, overwhelming her. Milkshakes after school, Friday night dates, weekends, and who could forget their meal after prom. Serena absently followed Mina towards the back of the diner, this place hadn't changed since high school but somehow they all had. Change after all was inevitable.

Taking in a deep breath, Serena looked across the table at Mina, leaning forward on her palms she watched her friend an amused smiles on her face. Mina's blonde hair fell in waves down to the center of her back, her light blue eyes sparkling excitedly as she bounced up and down in anticipation. Serena was distinctly reminded of the high school Mina from so many years ago yet at the same time there was a distinct change, a maturity that motherhood had brought.

Mina and Serena had been friends since they were in diapers; it was comical to reminisce back on those memories, when life was so simple. Thinking of Mina only brought Serena to think of her brother, Andrew. The two had been the worst of enemies in high school, arguing more than any two people Serena knew. After graduation Mina had moved out to Los Angeles to attempt a career as a singer/model, Andrew had begrudgingly allowed her to stay with him until she could get settled. With her charisma and unique beauty Mina quickly became an eagerly sought after model, but to everyone's astonishment never moved out of Andrew's place. It turned out that all that bitter hostility was actually pent up sexual tension and ended up turning into a relationship that worked. Three years later they were engaged, two years after married, and their first child, Cody didn't come to long after. After his birth the two decided to move back home to Michigan. Mina set on the ideals of being a stay at home mom left the modeling industry, while Andrew branched his frozen yogurt business back to Michigan. Examining Mina's expression, Serena knew her friend was content with the way things had turned out.

Just over Mina's shoulder Serena spied three familiar figures entering the diner, their faces reflecting her thoughts from only minutes earlier. Mina turned bouncing out of her seat. Unable to contain her excitement she jumped up tripping out of the booth, and toppling to the floor. The group broke into laughter at the sight,

"My goodness," Raye teased. "I always thought Serena was the klutzy one. I guess it all has to do with Andrew's influence." Reaching down Raye pulled Mina to her feet. Mina was laughing so hard, she didn't bother to acknowledge the insult, instead she threw her arms around Raye hugging her tightly. Raye hugged back, as everybody greeted each other after the long absence. Serene mused to herself how everything felt so natural, it was like distance and time didn't change their friendship. The time apart didn't seem to matter at all; it was as if they had all seen each other only days ago.

Everyone settled into the booth together, chatting eagerly as the waitress drifted back and forth. First for their drink orders, than for meals. Serena couldn't help but feel a sense of refuge within this group of friends. Yet there was a strange sentiment she couldn't shake, a tiny bit of her felt empty from the lack of effort she had put into keeling in touch. Of course they all emailed and called every so often but somehow sitting among friends that just didn't seem enough. If they were being honest, she thought, Mina was the glue that held their circle of friendship together. Taking a deep breath she surveyed each of them.

Mina sat across from her talking animatedly with Amy, her mouth moving faster than Serena thought possible. She had pulled her hair out of her face and was showing Amy pictures of Cody. Amy smiled and cooed, like any good friend as Mina spoke. Amy had always been the most soft spoken of the group, often her extreme shyness getting mistaken as rudeness. Serena laughed inwardly; Amy being rude was not something she would ever intend. When anyone is every panicking Amy is known to be the recipient of those calls, something about her temperament always seems to calm any situation. Her hair was shorter than Serena remembered, reaching just to her chin, glasses long gone, yet Amy still help so much of the characteristics that Serena knew and loved. Amy, as she had always dreamed, spent years trying to become a doctor. Moreover she had become a neurosurgeon, and now lived in Seattle with fiancé Greg. On the one occasion Serena had met Greg, she had completely fallen for his charm. It was easy to see why Amy had chosen Greg, he was her exact match.

Raye sat on Amy's right, her usual smirk plastered on her face but through her body language Serena could tell Raye was happy to be there. Her raven black hair was long and dark eyes gleaming with pleasure. Serena thought back remembering so many of the childish arguments they had had so long ago. Raye was down to earth, ambitious, and sharp tongue when it came to her friends. Remembering their first encounters, Serena though how much appearances can be deceiving. Unlike Amy whose shyness held her back, Raye's distant nature made her appear unreceptive to close friendships when it is the exact opposite. Serena thought of their adolescence, the two friends fought and made up more times in one day than was worth keeping count, but that was what made them the best of friends. Raye always had a way of motivating Serena and pushing enough to make her actually do something about it. When Raye challenged Serena saying she couldn't do something, sure enough she would do it just to prove her wrong. Yet it was Raye who Serena could confided first and the one she went to with her problems, and vice versa. Now, Raye was living in Boston working in some advertising firm. The last time they had spoken, over three months ago, Raye had been on the verge of breaking up with her boyfriend. Raye wasn't the type to get to attached to any one guy, the days of her boy-craziness had faded as the ambition to succeeded had besieged her.

"So, Serena your too quiet over there," Raye said, turning the conversation back to the blonde. Serena felt her face begin to burn having been lost in her own thoughts. Attempting a smile Serena waited for Raye's gaze to shift. "What have you been up to, Sere?" You have been under lock and key lately, have you forgotten hot to email and use the phone?"

Serena laughed, the bitter sarcasm of her friends not bothering her in the least. She shook her head, fingers folding and unfolding her paper napkin. "I'm sorry guys, with everything at work it has been _so_ crazy."

Lita's expression changed; raising an eyebrow she shook her head in dismay. "Serena has gone back to being an introvert who doesn't go out or do anything anymore."

"How bad is it?" Amy asked speaking in her clinical voice, leaning forward she gazed at Serena cautiously. "Are we talking doctorate bad?"

Lita nodded. "She's a hermit even when she's home these days.

"Is it time for an intervention?" Amy joked, taking a sip of her iced tea.

Mina laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, no worries, I have a plan."

"Agh, you always have a plan," Raye groaned.

Mina continued unabashed. "We need to find Serena a new boyfriend," Mina began. Everybody groaned shaking their heads, waving off the idea. "Why?" Mina whined glancing confusedly at her friends. Each face resembled the next, no one looked please with the idea.

"No thank you," Serena replied hastily. "There is no way I will ever let you pick another guy for me. Remember Ted? Besides you seriously married my brother. You lost all right in commenting on my love life the day you said 'I do'."

"Hey," Mina began pouting dramatically crossing her arms over her chest. "Just so you know, your brother is amazing in-"

Serena covered her ears shooting Mina a warning glare as everybody else at the table burst into another round of laughter. "I don't wanna know anything about you and my brother's sex life. Do you understand?" Serena exclaimed.

"What happened to that guy in the boy band? You were all keen on him for a while," Amy asked turning the subject back to Serena. "You two were pretty hot and heavy."

Lita leaned forward onto her elbows. "Yeah Serena, what did happen with Sieya?"

Serena cleared her throat sitting up a bit straighter. Glaring at Lita, she tried to come up with the right words. "It just sort of fizzled out."

Lita couldn't choke back her laughter any longer. "Don't believe anything coming out of her mouth; let's just say that Sieya was batting for the other team. Serena was simply a façade to cover it for the music executives. When she found out, it was drama for weeks."

The table was silent for a moment before Raye broke out laughing. Serena hadn't heard that type of laugh from Raye in years. Tears in her eyes, she held her side. "You were dating a gay guy?" she asked between gasps.

"Yes," Serena answered, voice void of all emotion. The subject was still a sore spot for her.

"How was the sex?" Raye continued to mock, hand banging the table.

Serena sighed, rolling her eyes. "Rachel Ann! You guys can't go around telling anyone about that. We agreed to keep it private." In an attempt to change the subject, she turned to Amy, whose face immediately flushed red. "So Amy how is my favorite plastic surgeon. Greg did come didn't he?"

Amy nodded, "Yeah, he's here. At the hotel actually."

Turning to Mina, she asked. "Have you met Greg yet?"

Mina shook her head. "Not yet but I am super excited. Raye you haven't met him either, right?"

"Nope, just those two losers," Raye jested pointing to Serena and Lita. "They were the lucky ones."

"Tonight," Amy said smiling nervously down at her hands. Looking up she eyed all her friends. "You two better be nice, he is really a nice guy, especially you Raye. I tried to warn him but, I know how you get."

Serena could tell Amy was nervous at the prospect of Greg meeting Raye and Mina. After all they were the two extremes of the group; one overly exuberant, the other bitterly cynical. Raye threw her hands in the air, feigning innocence. Serena nodded in agreement knowing how protective they were, but especially of Amy. "I promise to be on my best behavior," Raye said crossing her heart like girls scouts. "Scouts honor."

"You were kicked out of the scouts," Lita pointed out. The girls broke out in another round of giggles.

The food arrived and was consumed over the course of several of conversations. The topic never staying the same for long, more often than not several conversations occurring at once. A sense of normality seemed to accompany dessert, two shared slices of cheesecake, just like in high school. As dessert arrived a lull appeared in conversation. "So," Lita began. "Does anyone know who else is going to be at the reunion?"

"Well," Mina began knowingly. Everybody gave her a furtive glance. "I heard a really large number of people are showing up."

"Who from our group?" Serna asked, trying to remember all the people she'd hung out with back in high school. Her heart sank and skipped a beat at the same time when a particular raven-haired man entered her thoughts.

"I heard Angela, Jules, Robert," Mina began rattling off the list as if they were people they all should remember. Some were vaguely familiar while other sounded completely foreign. "Oh Raye, your cousin never got back to me. Is Darien going to be there?"

Raye nodded, "Yeah he was trying to use some huge business meeting as an excuse but I put him in his place. Believe me, it didn't take much convincing." Serena nodded along with the rest but inside several mixed emotions flooding her system.

"Oh good!" Mina exclaimed, "Now it really will be the whole old gang back together." Serena avoided eye contact with everyone, although she could feel several gazes on her. "Well, I took the liberty of drafting an itinerary for everyone." Mina continued to Serena's relief. Reaching into her massive purse she produced a few pieces of paper passing them out.

"Damn girl, what do you have in there? You're whole house?" Raye asked reaching in and pulling several odd objects out.

"Well, when you're a mom you will understand the need to be prepared for anything," she replied snatching her things back. Turning back to the schedule she explained, "Tomorrow, there is some idiotic homecoming soccer game and a luncheon. Then closing dinner, but I made a few adjustments for us. I am sure all of you will be around for the brunch I am hosting on Sunday at my house before you leave."

Everybody chuckled at Mina, nodding their heads. This was definitely something Mina had been looking forward to. Even if they didn't want to go, there would be no getting out of it now. When Mina's mind was set on something, it was finalize. The girls hung around chatting for another hour before going their separate way, to get ready for the dinner that evening.

Climbing back into the car, Serena was only half listening to Mina knowing just when to agree and nod. Passing the local high school, she couldn't escape the feeling of déjà vu. Being home was just too much of a flash from the past at the moment. "I can't believe that I am back in Weston," she muttered staring out the window from the passenger seat. Serena's eyes scanned the familiar streets of her childhood. Thinking about the evening ahead brought a new wave of excitement and anxiety to the pit of her stomach.

"Well, Auntie Irene is exited that you came home," Mina continued, having not missed a beat in conversation. From childhood Mina had always called her mother Auntie Irene, seeing as how close the two families were. When their mothers found out Mina and Andrew were marrying each other, Serena was sure they were more excited than the couple themselves. "She hasn't seen you since Christmas and you know how she gets when you come home. I'm glad everybody is here, together again. We just don't do this enough."

"If you break out in song, I will walk the rest of the way," Serena joked. Serena couldn't help but laugh. "This is your dream weekend. A weekend with everybody together, it almost seems ordained." Serena leaned back in her seat closing her eyes when a sudden realization dawned. "I can't believe Darien is going to be there."

"Is that weird? I realize it has been over between you guys for a long time, but I know how that could be sometimes," Mine rattled on. Serena forced a smile, though she was pretty sure she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"It's been over for years," Serena answered keeping her voice even. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. "I guess, I just didn't really think about it," she lied. When she had agreed to come for the first few days that was all she had thought about. The very possibility that Darien would be going as well. "It's fine. We are just friends now; it has been over for a long time."

"What has it been? Like seven years since you guys dated." Serena nodded as Mina parked the car in front of her house. Climbing out of the vehicle, she tuned out Mina's idle chatter.

Before Serena even made it to the porch the front door swung open, her mother greeting her warmly. Serena beamed; her mother looked the same, only slight wrinkles showing her age. Irene's brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, and she donned jeans and a sweater.

"Baby girl!" her mother screeched, wrapping her arms tightly around her daughter's neck. Serena hugged her back, welcoming the affection. "I'm so glad that you're home. You look thin."

"Mom, I am glad to be home too," Serena replied. Linking arms with her mother, she followed her into the house.

"Well, I changed the sheets on your bed this morning and I see you already dropped off your luggage. I know you must be exhausted from the trip, so I am going to let you get some rest before Mina sweeps you off into, well, the world of Mina again," Irene laughed as they climbed up the stairs.

"Hey," Mina argued from behind. Serena pushed open the door with her name on it, and smiled. Everything was as it always was, just as she had left it after high school. The same nostalgic feeling that she always had when coming home crept over her. Irene kissed her forehead before turning and walking out the room with a promise of a long chat later. "How much crap did you bring for the weekend?" Mina asked eyeing the two large suitcases by the door.

"Enough," Serena answered, running her hands over her desk in reminiscence. Turning to face her sister in-law she smiled. "So, what is the plan?"

Mina shrugged. "We have to be at the hotel by six. Andrew and I are going to be dropping Cody off here at around five thirty, so be ready by then." Mina glanced down at her watch and shook her head. "Okay, I really got to run. Time just doesn't seem to understand there is just too much to do."

"I'll be ready. See you later," she said, kissing her cheek and giving her one more hug. Closing the door behind her, Serena was glad to finally be alone with her thoughts. She had known there was a chance he would be here. The thought had both plagued and delighted her at the time, but with weeks to contemplate she wasn't sure how to feel now. Where Darien was concerned he would always be her first real love. Sighing deeply, Serena laid back onto her queen sized bed staring up at the plastic stars on the ceiling.

"Darien Shields," she breathed, a smile creasing her features. Closing her eyes, she allowed her memories to wonder back to the past. She could still clearly remember the first time they met. It was just after his parents had died in a tragic car accident. Raye's family had graciously taken him in, Darien's mother being her twin sister.

From what she had known Darien was always been a gangly kid, his childhood pictures proved that much was true. Always the tallest in the class with a mop of unruly ebony hair, which is what Serena, had expected to meet. When he arrived at the end of the summer, Serena was pleasantly surprise. Instead of thin and gangly, he was muscular and his once unruly hair perfectly quaffed. Yet it hadn't taken long for them to begin their feuding. Serena thought back, that had been the beginning of their sophomore year. He, she reminisced had appeared to arrogant for her liking, and she, well she chuckled at the memory, had been to klutzy and boisterous for him. Instant enemies, she scoffed.

As time progressed their relationship changed. He went from being enemy number one to one of her most trusted confidants. By the end of the year they were nearly inseparable. At the start of the junior year, he had finally found the courage to ask her out. His arrogant facade long gone, replaced with a deep understanding of his pain. Serena sighed shaking off the memory; he was such a huge part of her history that she had tried to ignore.

Darien had been her first; he had known everything about her; every quirk and mannerism. It was the same with him; just walking into a room she could easily read his mood. What had changed? She mused sitting up and reaching for a framed photo. Serena didn't know how to explain it. After high school, she headed to NYU while he went off to USC to play basketball. They had tried to stay together, and had accomplished it through their freshman year. However, time and distance had proved too much of a strain, they had grown apart. Serena leaned back again staring at the stars. College had been two totally different experiences for them, phone calls drifting further apart. Eventually, the only thing left to do was break up. Thankfully it hadn't been some tragically dramatic display, they had separated amicably. "Just friends," they had promised.

Boyfriends has come and gone, somewhere in her unconsciousness she found herself comparing them to Darien. Lita had explained it perfectly one drunken night when Serena had actually admitted to these thoughts.

"It's the pedestal effect. He was the best that you ever had so you will forever compare everybody else to him. You hold him on the pedestal." The two had never discussed it after that but Serena knew she was right. Remembering back to Andrew's wedding when Darien had arrived with his fiancé on his arm any deeply seeded hope of a future together had vanished. Placing the picture back on the nightstand she banished the thoughts. He was married by now, she was sure of it although she couldn't be certain. Even with Andrew and Darien staying in contact, the very mention of Darien had become taboo between them.

Serena's thoughts shifted back to the stars on the ceiling pondering if there had been a patter to the madness or if they were randomly place. Getting up, she walked to her bookshelf pulling out her yearbook. Flipping through the pages she smiled reading the forgotten words and messages, remembering all the good times. Turning to the senior pages, she looked down at a young Darien. Reading his bio her heart leapt.

**Darien Shields**

**Nickname:** D-man, Shields, Dare

**Activities:** Basketball, Baseball, Student council

**Fave Quote: **"Don't mock me my friend." --- 12 Monkeys

**Future Goals:** To go to college, play some ball, finally get my game out there. Get married to my girl and start a family of my own.

Thanks: to my family, Mom and Dad, I did it for you. My Aunt and Uncle and Cousin, thanks for helping me through. Sere, I love you more than you will ever know, From now to forever.

Shutting the book, she wiped an escaping tear from her cheek. This is not the time to be getting emotional, she berated herself. Instead she turned to her suitcases and began the process of getting ready for the evening.

A/N: My proofreader is on vacation so she didn't read through it yet but I want post every Sunday. If there are any errors please let me know so I can fix them. Enjoy.


	4. Blissful Memories

**A/N: Sorry about taking so long to update but i am just nearly done with my senior thesis which means that summer is coming and i will have a little more time on my hands. You will be glad to know that i plotted out the rest of the chapters so its just a matter of sitting and writing and posting. I will say the more reviews i get the sooner i will update.... i would hate to give a number but i will say that i am working on chapter 4 as we speak!**

**If you enjoy, then review!**

Chapter 3

Blissful Memories

"Wow, this is a pretty excellent turn out," Mina commented as they walked through the entrance of the hotel towards the registration desk, Mina clung to Andrew's arm tightly. Serena nodded absently, her hands smoothing out the nonexistent creases in her black cocktail dress as she followed behind the happy couple. Her eyes scanned the room carefully for any signs of the raven haired man that had seemingly taken over her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself he was married. The whole situation was making her wonder what he was doing and what he looked like now, after all these years. Would she even recognize him?

"Hey Sere, it that Greg?" Andrew asked, pointing to the elevators where Amy and a handsome auburn haired man were exiting. Serena easily recognized him, Greg appeared visibly apprehensive as he glanced around the large foyer. It was the same expression, she noted, he had worn when she and Lita met him all those months ago. Serena watched as Amy turned to face him, kissing him ever so reassuringly on the lips. Serena smiled; Amy sure knew how to pick them. Amy turned, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at being caught showing affection in public.

Taking his hand, she led him towards the small group, cheeks resembling tomatoes. "Hi," she squeaked greeting them with a round of hugs. Taking a deep breath, Greg reached over, taking his hand and entwining his fingers in hers encouragingly. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Serena, who rarely got to witness this side of Amy. "This is Greg," Amy introduced squeezing his hand back. Greg nodded shaking hands with everyone. "Greg, this is Mina and Andrew. You know Serena already." Amy's expression was priceless. "These are just some of the people you need to meet."

Mina looked down at Greg's proffered hand before waving it away; instead she grabbed him hugging tightly. "It's so nice to finally meet you Greg!" she exclaimed, her sincerity overflowing. Andrew couldn't help but chuckle at his wife's behavior. Once Mina let him go, Serena hugged him in greeting before Andrew shook his hand, sizing him up. "Andrew, he uses his hands for his career. Let it go," she hissed through her smile embarrassed.

"Oh, Andrew said, releasing Greg's hand and looking more like his wife than he realized.

"Greg, you will have to excuse them. They have a child and don't get out as much as they used to," Serena interjected turning to Amy whose expression was searching for a savior. "This is there way of saying welcome to our family. Now, why don't we all go check in. I'm pretty sure Lita and Jen are already inside and knowing Raye, she will show up late. It's just the way she is." Greg chuckled deeply, gazing at the group appraisingly. Following Serena's lead they walked to the check in table. Amy mouthed "thank you' before Serena turned to Andrew and Mina. "You two need to behave. Do you understand?"

They nodded, both looking like children reprimanded by their parents. Turning she walked to the registration table and signed in, picking up the name tag while trying to inconspicuously scan the tags still remaining on the table. When she didn't spot his name, her heart skipped a beat. Serena's mouth felt like cotton, she was suddenly overcome with an urge for a glass of water, or a shot of tequila, which ever she could get her hands on first.

Following the two couples into the ballroom, she smiled and waved to a few of the people she recognized.

"I need a drink," Andrew announce when they arrived at their table. "Anyone else?"

"Grey goose Bay Breeze," Serena answered too quickly. A few of her friends turned eyeing her cautiously. "Actually, I think I'll get it myself." Standing up, she excused herself from the table and made her way to the cash bar.

"What will it be?" the bartender asked, Serena looked up and read his name tag, Ted. He appeared to young to be serving drinks with his long shaggy hair and clean cut face.

"Hmm," Serena began pretending to think about it. "Well, Ted I think I'll have a Grey goose bay breeze please." She reached for her purse to pull out some money when a voice behind her made her freeze.

"And a whiskey on the rocks," the deep voice called out from beside her. Serena turned and her eyes met with the all too familiar gorgeous midnight blue eyes of her adolescence. The yes she had grown to know so well, a smug smile was playing on his lips, like nothing had changed. Serena felt like she was sixteen again in that moment, his gaze made her feel like she would melt. "Nice to see you here, not that it's a shock. I kinda expected to see you here," she stared at him quizzically. "This," he said motioning to the room around them, "is a very 'Mina type event." Ted returned with their drink and Darien slid a few bills on the counter covering both their drinks.

Serena laughed heartily. "You're right about that. Thanks for the drink." Picking up the glass, she took a sip of the beverage smiling widely. Darien looked amazing as he stood next to her, she had forgotten how tall he was, he was still at least three feet taller than she was in her heels. He wore an expensive looking suit and a midnight blue shirt which matched his eyes all too perfectly, no tire in typical Darien fashion. Standing confidently holding his drink, his eyes were on her, she could feel him gazing her up and down appraisingly. The whole scene way to familiar for comfort, too nostalgic. Serena was suddenly glad she had chosen the dress that showed off her body having spent all too many hours in the gym to perfect it.

"Anytime," he said raising his glass and taking a few deep gulps.

"Then I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, especially since I'm at your table," he teased winking at her. Serena took this as her opportunity to walk away appearing confident, she knew if she stayed any longer he would be able to see right there her. Returning back to the table, she joined the small cluster of people that had gathered. Eyes wander from the group often raking over the crowd for one individual in particular. There were a couple of people she had only a vague recollection of but for the most part it was the usual crew she had hung out with in high school.

Even from her seat next to Ken, she could feel Darien's eyes on her from across the table. When the need to escape his intense gaze became overwhelming, she glanced over her shoulder in his general direction, he was staring. She saw him grin and looked away. Serena could feel the heat rising to her cheeks and tried to shake the feeling he was checking her out, assessing the changes that had taken place over the years since they had last seen each other. _Where is the red head, his wife? _she thought. Downing the last of her drink, she excused herself from the table heading for the restroom.

Taking a moment to compose her nerves, she took a deep breath and fixed a few fly away strands of hair. She exited the washroom with a composed smile on her face, ready to face the world, or at least him.

"Wow, oh wow, Serena Hunter is all grown up."

Serena stopped paralyzed for a moment. It took every effort for her to turning towards _that_ voice, a voice she would never forget. The moment her eyes met with the malice filled stone grey it felt as if an invisible hand had reached inside squeezing her organs to mush. Forcing a smile, she inconspicuously scanned the area for an exit, any exit, but only found him standing between her and freedom.

"Hello Diamond," she replied icily, still searching over his should hoping he wouldn't note the edge of alarm in her voice. Her body stiffened as he took a step towards her. "How have you been?"

He took another step toward her. "Fine, just fine and you?" he asked, taking yet another causal step closer to her. It did not go unnoticed by Serena who took another step back.

Serena tried to steady her breathing as much as possible, but flashes form the past were bringing on a panic attack. She stood frozen, her breathing just slightly faster than normal, praying he couldn't see the fear in her eyes. "I've been okay," her voice sounded to high, even to her own ear. "You know how it is working, trying to make a living."

Diamond arched an eyebrow, taking yet another step. Even from this distance, she could smell the distinct scent of alcohol and cigarettes on his breath. "High school seems like it was forever ago, and yet here we are. Face to face again, and this time everything is so different." The step forward he took was deliberate, forcing Serena to take the last step back hitting the wall. Serena nodded trying her best to swallow but finding her throat dry again.

"Serena, there you are!" Serena's eyes widened with surprise and relief. Darien reached around Diamond grasping Serena by her arm and pulling her away, he had been her savior all those years before and here he stood doing it again. Once they were out of earshot, she sighed. "You okay?" he asked, the memory apparently hadn't slipped his mind either. The murky memory of what Diamond had tried to do all those years ago.

Serena nodded; no words would form in her mind. Trying her best not to cry she forced the memory out of her mind. "I'm fine," she muttered her voice sounding weak even to her own ears. "I think I'm just going to go outside for a minute. You know, get some air," Serena said breathlessly heading for the door. Darien followed without a word, his hand still holding her forearm. Exiting the building, Serena continued to walk, despite the chill of the air, it only brought relief to her flushed skin. Sitting down on a bench, he sat next to her talking a deep breath of the night air.

"Can you believe it had been ten years?" Darien asked, staring up at the stars in the sky. The sky was so different back home in New York, obscured by air pollution and the bright lights of the city. She noted the few constellations she could remember, agreeing with him. "How have things been? It's been a while." His eyes left eh skin and rested on her but she refused to meet his gaze.

"It has, but things are good. I mean, as good as they can be for now."

"Finally get that job at NYU?" Darien teased, his eyes returning to the heavens.

Serena laughed, shaking her head. "Not yet, but maybe in a couple of years I just finished up my PHD in English, though, so I'm hoping that one of those job offers will come through soon."

"It was always your dream job," Darien added.

"Still is. What about you?"

Darien sighed. "You know that video game I have spent forever working on, the user interface online game, _Tempests Quest_." Serena nodded remembering the hours he would spend on his computer typing in codes she would never understand. "Well, I think it's finally going to go somewhere. So that's my thing, but I have been working in retail, while I try and get the game off the ground."

Serena really finally turned to meet his gaze. "So are you happy?" The words flew from her mouth before she had a chance to stop herself.

Darien was quiet for a long moment before he shrugged leaning forward and leaning his elbows on his knees. "I dunno, really I think I am most days and then I have that day, the day that something goes completely wrong and I hate my life all together. So I dunno how to really answer that question." Turning to face her he smirked, eyeing her expression carefully. They had slipped back into their comfortable conversations that their relationship had been filled with. It was just easy being around him, Serena noted to herself. "What about you?"

Serena shrugged, leaning back into the bench she sighed. "I'm just not where I thought I would be ten years ago. So, I guess I am happy, only not as happy as I know I could be. You know what I mean?" Darien nodded and the two of them sank into a comfortable silence staring up at the stars again. Serena bit her lip before facing him once more.

"So, I didn't see your pop star boy band boyfriend here, left him at home?" Darien asked the acrimony evident in his voice. Darien turned touching her knee slightly, sending chills throughout her whole body. Her body's immediate reaction to him had not changed over the years, that was for sure. Serena took a deep breath steadying her voice.

"Apparently, you haven't been keeping p with the tabloid gossip," Serena answered laughing at the ridiculous of the conversation. "Well seriously, we broke up a while ago. He wasn't exactly what I was looking for to be honest with you." Darien chuckled, not understanding the full extent of her words. "So, what about you? Where is your wife, didn't feel like coming to hang out with your high school friends?"

Darien seemed surprise by her question, before his expression changed. The smirk faded from his face, replaced with a cold glare towards the sky. "What wife?" he spat bitterly.

"At Andrew's wedding, you were engaged to that girl with the mass of red hair, you know the one that kinda looked like Medusa" Serena explained, staring at him oddly. She hadn't meant to say that last part outloud but Darien's grin returned for a moment at her comment. Smacking his shoulder playfully, she chanced a glance at him. "What happened to you?"

Darien stood abruptly, running his hands through his hair. It was a key sign of his frustration, especially when he didn't want to talk about something. Serena had been on the receiving end of that expression very often in their youth. "We should probably just get back. Mina will send out the search party pretty soon if you don't get back soon. Besides, it's a little chilly out here."

Serena stood up smoothing out her skirt; there was no point in pushing his if he didn't want to talk. Serena couldn't help but feel relieved; Darien wasn't with the red head, but what had happened. Her curiosity was building, she resigned to ask Mina. Touching his arm gently, her heart sank at how upset he looked over her simple question. "You're right. We should get back," Serena agreed, forcing a laugh, she turned to Darien and looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm more afraid of your cousin. We all know how she could be when she starts drinking." Darien cracked a wry grin putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to him. An overwhelming feeling of safeness washed over Serena as she stood in his embrace.

"High school was good times, wasn't it?" he asked as they began to walk back, continuing to hold onto her. Serena smiled, inhaling the familiar scent that drove her crazy. "Too bad we can't go back, huh?"

"We can't go back, that's not the way things work."

"I know," Darien, answered looking down at her and squeezing her shoulder affectionately. "But if I could, there are a couple of things I would change."

She looked up at for a moment wondering what he would change, the relationship they had together? Or was it something completely different. Serena felt an unpleasant sensation in the pit of her stomach under his intense gaze. Squeezing her shoulder one last time, he released her, holding open the door to the hotel. The conversation ending abruptly.

"There you are," Raye called out, annoyed. "We were looking all over for you-"

"Yeah, well you found us, little cuz," Darien said, hugging his cousin. Serena cringed hurrying away from them, knowing very well that a long explanation was going to be in order.

********

Serena collapsed exhausted onto her bed without even wanting to turn on the lights. Taking in a deep breath, she stared at the glowing stars on the ceiling, trying to remember if there was an actual pattern. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her temples. After her talk with Darien, the girls had immediately escorted her to the restroom where she was interrogated for fifteen minutes for every little detail they could get out of her. With complete honesty Serena had explained what had occurred from the time she had disappeared from the table.

The interrogation had yielded some intriguing pieces of information about Darien. Serena closed her eyes remember what Raye had said about Darien's ex-fiancé. Apparently she had turned out not to be who she said she was but a money hungry leech, Raye's words. When Darien confronted her about it, she said she didn't want to get married and that was the last he heard from her. A month later, she sent him an envelope with the engagement ring inside.

Rolling over, she got up and turned on her light, needing to get out of the dress as soon as possible. As sexy as she knew she looked in it, it wasn't as comfortable as it appeared. "Beauty is pain," she muttered to herself, changing into a tank top and a pair of her cheerleading shorts from high school she had scrounged from her draws. Lying back on her bed, she lay there thinking about everything that had happened and yet she just couldn't get Darien's expression out of her head. Or his words for that matter, what had he meant that he would change things. Standing up, she walked to the window staring out at the stars. Opening the sliding glass door she stepped out onto her balcony taking a deep breath of the night air, trying to clear her head. His voice had sounded so regretful when he spoke those words. When she couldn't stand the chill any further she stepped back inside shutting the door, she pressed her head against the cold surface the beginnings of a headache forming, wondering why she couldn't get him out of her head.

She heard a tapping sound against the glass, Serena's eyes shot open as she peered out her window. Opening it slowly she grinned widely. Standing on her lawn in a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt was Darien smiling up at her, she giggled at the former memories filled her mind. Gesturing towards her silently asking if he could come up, she nodded, and then carefully stepped onto the balcony as quietly as possible. Watching him carefully as he climbed the tree next to her bed, surprised he was still agile enough to climb up. When he reached the landing she slid the door open and ushered him inside. Darien immediately made himself at home, like had so many times before.

Once they were both inside, she closed the door locking it behind her. Her heart was beating uncontrollably and a million questions were running through her head at the moment, but only one seemed to stand out. What was he doing in her room at three in the morning?

"What's up?" Serena asked in a low tone, taking the seat next to him on her bed. Her feet were frozen from the cold; crossing them she tucked them beneath her trying to warm them up. Darien shrugged, leaning back and staring at the stars on her ceiling. A comfortable silence filled the space between them, Serena silently prayed he couldn't hear the thumping of her heart as he sat feet away. It was racing uncontrollably.

"I dunno," he laughed. "I went for a walk after I got back to my Aunt and Uncles place and this is where my feet led me. Weird, huh?" he asked, gazing up at her from his position on the bed, an all too familiar glint in his eyes. Serena nodded, not really sure of what to say next. Taking a deep breath, he cradled his head in his hands, returning his attention to the stars on the ceiling. "Is there a pattern?" he asked.

Serena laughed quietly. "Yeah, I was trying to figure that out myself earlier today." A silence filled the space between them. Serena stood up and walked to her suitcase in the corner, shuffling through for a pair of socks avoiding his gaze. She could feel his eyes on her again and wasn't sure what to do. Why was it that he had the ability to make her feel like a fumbling fifteen year old again? Returning to the bed, she slid back beside Darien busying herself with placing the socks on her feet. "How weird was it to see everyone today? I mean, I seriously would never have thought Katsy would have gained that much weight or Adam would have ended up with a beer belly working at Walmart."

Darien laughed again with a nod. "Actually, Adam is moving up in the world. He's assistant nightshift manager," Darien teased, sitting up.

Serena chuckled. Taking in a deep breath, she allowed herself to truly gaze at Darien again. He seemed so much the same person, yet so different at the same time, more mature, as if life had not been hard enough on him already.

"Thanks by the way," Serena said, fixing her gaze on her hands. "For saving me from Diamond… again. I just can't believe after everything that happened in high school he would show up, let alone talk to me," she breathed nervously, pulling the ponytail holder out of her hair and running her hands through her hair.

"Yeah, no problem, I'm just glad that I happened to be heading in that direction. Come to think of it, I am not really sure why Diamond showed up. I heard from Jason that he is living off his parents still. He doesn't work or anything must be nice to live that kinda life."

Serena glanced up, she smiled. Talking to Darien had always been so simple, and even now, years later it was still easy to talk to him. "I don't know about that," she interjected. "I mean, yeah, not having to worry about money would be nice, but to have nothing to strive for in life. That is actually a pretty sad thing."

Darien nodded in agreement getting up and walking around the room. He paused to inspected the bookshelf before picking up a picture frame. Turning to Serena, he was grinning ear to ear. "You know, we had a lot of good memories happen in this room," he smiled handing her the picture he had been looking at. Serena examined it and smiled. It was a picture of the two of them after prom at the cabin by the lake. The two of them sat smiling foolishly up at her as she peered down at the picture, the memories all flooding back again.

"If this room could talk, I don't even wanna know what it would have to say," Serena laughed, scooting further back onto the bed and leaning against the headboard. Sighing deeply, she replaced the picture on the night stand.

Darien smiled, sitting back down on the bed, turning to face her. "It's strange how much things can change and yet be the same. I feel like I keep saying that," he paused scooting closer to her. "but I have to tell you something."

"What?" Serena asked, her curiosity piqued, his movements did not go unnoticed.

Darien moved closer placing his hand on her knee, all the while keeping eye contact with her. Serena tried to remain focused on his intent expression, but with his hand on her knee was finding it hard to concentrate on anything else. The warmth had returned with full force at the moment his hand had touched her skin. How was it so simple for him to turn her back into the bumbling teenager she thought again. Darien smiled noticing the effect he was having on her, leaning forward ever so slightly. "Well, when I saw you tonight at the bar, I couldn't believe it was you. You looked absolutely amazing and well, I was hoping the boy band guy wasn't here at all."

He moved closer to her, taking her hand in his immediately aware she wasn't gaze was so intense she wasn't sure what to do next. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she grinned. "Really," she said, turning the flirt factor up to its full potential. "Why is that?" she asked, leaning forward a tad. Their faces mere inches away from each other.

"Because then I wouldn't be the one doing this," he said just as he moved in closing the gap between them, allowing his lips to graze her own. Serena felt herself shudder faintly at the intense desire that had resided within her body at the mere touch of his lips on her own. "He would have been the one doing that."

"Oh, I see," Serena, answered scooting forward a little more, she could see how much he wanted this too. He grinned, pulling her to him and wrapping his arms around her waist in one smooth movement. "This weekend is really turning into a back flash, wouldn't you say?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck. Darien winked and touchinghis forehead against her own.

"All the memories," he muttered before kissing her again. This kiss was completely different from the teasing one a moment ago. It was full of the pent up urgency and desire they were both feeling. Lying back, she pulled him on top of herself and they enjoyed the rest of their night passionately recapping their blissful memories.


	5. The Truth of the Matter

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon in any way at all.

**A/n: Hello everyone. Thank you for all of your reviews I can be honest in saying that i feel completely inspired right now which could end up being a good thing for you guys lol... the more i am inspired the sooner the updates.... also reviews help a lot!!! Let me know what you think....**

Way Back Into Love

Chapter 4

The Truth of the Matter

Serena awoke with a feeling of complete euphoria, even with the sun streaming through the open shade and the dull ache in her head. Squinting she tried to roll over to close them but found she couldn't move. Grunting she turned her head and came face to face with a sleeping Darien. A handsome sleeping Darien whose arm was tightly clamped around her waist and refusing to relent. She couldn't keep the smile from her face as she gazed at him for a long moment, a blush rising to her cheeks recollecting the events of the night before. Blinking through the irritating rays of light she tried to remove herself from his grip.

"Darien, get off of me. I wanna close the shade," she muttered pushing his arm away from her. Darien mumbled something incoherent back before rolling over just enough to give her some space. Sliding out of his arms she closed the blinds glancing at the alarm clock, it was only nine. Rubbing her temples realization finally sunk in, Darien was still in her bed. A very naked Darien, was in her bed in her mother's house.

Tying the belt of her bathrobe tightly she silently slipped out of the room closing the door behind her. This was not a scene she wanted her mother to find, ever. Taking a deep breath she popped her head into her mother's room only to find it empty and the bed made. Venturing further into the house she walked into the kitchen finding a note addressed to her. Reading it relief washed over her. She exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she was holding rubbing her hands over her face. Her mother had been called into the office unexpectedly and wouldn't be back for several hours. Her mind wondered back to the man upstairs and an unintentional giggle escaped her lips. Getting up she grabbed a mug and filled it with the fresh coffee from the pot adding just a little milk before taking a long sip, and relishing in the taste.

Closing her eyes she could feel herself beaming and yet slightly embarrassed by the whole situation. Had she really done that last night? She found herself giggling like a teenager again but couldn't stop herself. Last night had been amazing, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so connected to someone both physically and emotionally. Just thinking about the way his lips felt all over her body made her shudder with delight. As much as she tried not to think of the implications there seemed no way around it. Taking a deep breath she sighed again but for a completely different reason, it was the weekend she told herself. It was being home around everyone that made them both act like they were still hormonal teens and not grown adults.

Fidgeting with the tie of her bathrobe she took the stairs slowly trying her best to ignore the dull pounding in her chest that had suddenly resided there. Pushing her door open she stood watching Darien for a long moment. He was curled up under her comforter, his hair in his face. He looked so innocence and blissfully unaware. Approaching the bed she sat down next to him, placing her mug on the night table.

Leaning over him she gently brushed the hair out of his eyes relishing in the feeling. He groaned slightly rolling onto his back. "What?" he whined pouting, eyes still closed.

Serena giggled sitting up and straddling him easily. Leaning forward she began to place butterfly kisses on his neck. "We have to get up, and you need to get out of here. You were not supposed to stay last night. There are rules you know," she said reciting the same lines she had repeated when they were in high school.

Darien smirked, his trademark smirk shaking his head. "Does this mean I have to climb out over the balcony? I don't think I'm as agile as I used to be."

Shaking her head Serena chuckled leaned forward and continuing to trail kisses across his collarbone. "Nope, my mom is working today. You could leave right out the front door. Maybe the back door for old times sake," she mocked starting to kiss down his chest, she could feel his body react with every kiss and it drove her crazy. She couldn't believe that she still had this kind of effect on him. Looking up she saw his eyebrow was raised in suspicion. Wrapping his arms around her waist he easily flipped her onto her back causing her to giggle intensely. Everything just felt so natural, so complete.

"So what you're telling me is that we are all alone in this house and you want me to leave?" he asked feigning hurt but still not moving off of her. She smiled up at him nodding her head reaching up to run her hands through his hair again.

"That's right. I have to be ready in a couple of hours and you being here is just going to be a distraction-" she began. He leaned forward kissing her ever in a teasing manner. His tongue running over her bottom lip begging entrance and just when she granted it, burying her finger in the hair at the nape of his next he pulled back. Serena couldn't shake the dizzy feeling, he was intoxicating and even worse he knew exactly what to do to get a reaction out of her. Everything about him left her wanting more. Letting out a deep breath she shook her head, her fingers playing still in the hair at the nape of his neck. "You see what I mean; you're just too much of a distraction. So get your clothes on and get out of my mother's house."

"Geez," he said sitting up but smiling nonetheless. "I can tell when I'm not wanted."

"Besides, if any of the girls found out about this," Serena continued breathing out exasperated. Pulling his head down she crashed her lips into his again relishing in the feel. Pulling away he leaned over kissing the sensitive spot just under her ear. "I would never hear the end of it."

Darien nodded in understanding placing one more chastised kiss on her lips before beginning to search the room for his pants. "Believe me, Raye and Mina would have a field day with this," Darien breathed finding his pants in the corner by the door. Stopping he turned to her seriously. "Would it be so bad?"

Serena sat up leaning back against her headboard, her eyes mesmerized by Darien's well sculpted body. With every step he made she could see the muscles flexing and felt her body reacting to him again. Biting her lower lip she finally turned her attention back to his face. He was studying her just as much as she was studying him. Her brain fuzzy she couldn't quite remember what they had just been talking about. "What are you talking about?"

"Would it be so bad, me and you?" he asked with all seriousness in his tone. Serena took a long pause trying to understand what he was talking about. The magnitude of the whole situation, the heaviness in his words slowing seeping in slowly.

Serena froze. Where was he going with this? And what was the point anyway, she thought. They each had separate lives in separate cities. "Darien," she breathed staring at anything but him. Her eyes suddenly transfixed on the stars overhead. Leaning her head back onto a pillow she sunk down deeper into her bed. What was it about the stars on her ceiling that had such an appeal to her in these situations. "I really need to take a shower." Darien nodded accepting her answer, but from the look in his eyes she was certain that this conversation wasn't over just yet.

********

"Auntie Sere!"

Serena turned around opening her arms as Cody came sprinting towards her at full speed. "Hey Cody-Bodie!" Serena cried picking him up and hugging him tightly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he said hugging her back tightly. "I really liked the train."

"I knew you would," she said hugging him tightly again. He wiggled in her arms trying to get out of her grip. Dropping him down onto the ground he ran back to his father who was standing by the side lines of the soccer field. Serena watched the two of them interacting with each other and a feeling of contentment washed over her. She knew her brother was happy, and this was just further proof that he was leading the fulfilling life they had always hoped for.

Sinking back down onto the bleachers she could hardly pay attention to the game at all. There was just one person on her mind and she hadn't seen him yet. Just the thought of seeing him brought a nervous excitement to the pit of her stomach. Scanning the crowd she still couldn't find him but spotted her friends all standing around in different places having conversations. It was a scene right out of her memories, it felt just like high school as she sat there waiting for the ebony haired man of mystery.

"Hey," a deep familiar voice whispered in her ear. His breath on her skin sent shivers down her spine. She felt his lips make brief contact with her neck before pulling away, Serene biting back a whimper at the loss of his touch. Sliding into the seat next to her he inconspicuously ran his hand along her back sending her severely knotted stomach into another frenzy. "Who would have thought that I would find you here?" he teased settling onto the cold steel seat next to her.

"I don't know, maybe that fact that Mina has instructed us to attend almost all of these reunion events," Serena answered coyly. Leaning back onto the row behind her she sighed knowing that even sitting together like this was going to draw unwanted attention from the other but she just couldn't bring herself to care. Darien looked amazing, smelled even more enticing and the combination of having him so close left her not caring about anything but the fact that his hands were tucked in his pockets and not touching her.

"Yeah, well I completely understand," Darien began following her example and leaning back coyly. "I loved this place. I really did, it was where I found you guys. You guys are my family." Serena nodded not really knowing what to say, this was the type of thing she had heard from him for so long ago. With nothing to say in return they sank into a comfortable silence. As the continued to watch the game Serena noticed Darien's face contort into a mischievous smile she recognized immediately, nothing wholesome ever came from that smile.

"What?" she asked unable to avoid the mischievous glint in his eyes instead wondering what he was thinking.

"Wanna go make out in the equipment room like we used too?" he asked wiggling his eyebrow at her seductively.

Serena raised an eyebrow before chuckling to herself. "Are you serious?" He nodded his head standing to his feet.

"You know where I'll be," he said standing and winking at her. He descended the steps and headed in the direction of the gym never once glancing back to her. Serena sat and watched him nonchalantly entered the building with an overwhelming sense of giddiness pooling in the pit of her stomach. She felt so juvenile and yet it was the most exciting and thrilling thing she had done in ages.

Standing to her feet she carefully climbed down the bleachers ignoring the raised eyebrows of Raye who had been watching her for a while. Stopping by the group she checked her watch as they made small talk, she knew that she couldn't immediately follow or they would think something was up. Looking up towards the door she saw Molly, an old classmate heading into the building. Using her as an excuse she followed behind. Stopping only for a moment to greet Molly in case anybody asked she tried to keep her excitement at a causal level. Walking to the equipment room she carefully pushed the door open checking over her shoulder.

Closing the door behind her she felt a set of warm soft lips touch her neck leaving butterfly fluttering in the pit of her stomach. "For a second I thought I was going to be stood up," he said as he teased her skin with his lips. Serena shrugged sinking further into his embrace in the unlit space, glad he couldn't see the color rising to her cheeks

"Have I ever stood you up when it came to this equipment room before?" she asked turning around in his arms to face him. Serena smiled wrapping her arms around his neck and playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He smirked pushing her up against the cool steel door. She giggled, as she felt his hands slip under her shirt.

"Never," he murmured his lips never leaving her skin. His hand crept up her back trying to unclasp her bra.

"You used to be really good at this," she mocked as his fingers fiddled with the clasp for a few more moment. When he finally freed her of the impending fabric he pulled back with a triumphant smile.

Leaning forward he kissed her again. Serena found herself relieved he had her pinned up against the door, she was positive if she wasn't her knees would have given out already. "You doubt me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, leaning his forehead against her own and placing a kiss on her nose.

"Never."

********

Putting down the curling iron Serena examined herself in the mirror carefully. Glad that she had packed a few extra dresses she ran her hands down the front making sure she looked immaculate. She smiled wondering what Darien would think when he saw her in the fitted maroon dress that hugged her curves just right. Her hair was pulled back up and held together with a few pins and the ends curled. Her makeup had been applied to appear natural but give her a sophisticated look all at once.

Giggling to herself as she twirled in the mirror she had a super giddy excitement flopping around in her stomach. Reaching over she checked the time on the clock, she still had a few minutes before Andrew and Mina would arrive to pick her up. Going to the mirror she checked herself for what felt like the hundredth time. Closing her eyes she couldn't shake the suddenly feeling of fear and sorrow that overwhelmed. _It will all be over tomorrow,_ she thought to herself. Unexpectedly she felt her heart drop. Sighing deeply she tried to shake off the feeling, forcing a smile. Reminding herself to just enjoy the moment she slipped on her shoes, grabbed her clutch and headed down the stairs.

Irene smiled brightly at her daughter from where she sat on the couch. "You look amazing," she commented getting up to hug her daughter. "Anybody in particular you dressed up for?" her mother asked sitting back down on the couch with her unwavering gaze.

"No," Serena lied turning away from her mother.

Irene watched her daughter, all the while trying to hide the smile from her face. "Really? Well, I must say then that I must be losing my touch. You have that look on your face."

"What look?" Serena asked unable to hide her amusement.

Irene walked over fixing the strap on her daughters dress. "Oh, I don't know. The look you always had before Darien would come and pick you up." Serena's heart began to race at the mention of his name but she made sure her expression remained the same. Her mother was astute when it came to her daughter. "Speaking of Darien, how is he doing?"

Serena shook her head knowing what her mother was thinking but refusing to allow the thoughts to go any further. "He's fine. Still working on that game he was crazy about back in the day. But I guess overall he's doing great."Irene just stood, arms crossed over her chest nodding at her daughter. Serena had the distinct impression that he mother didn't believe her but there was no way that she could tell her mother what had really been going on between them. The two had always had an open relationship but Serena drew the line there. She didn't need her mother thinking the wrong thing about her relationship with Darien. It's this weekend, she reminded herself. We are all going to go back to our lives tomorrow and this will just be another memory, she thought. A knock on the door took the attention off of Serena, to her great relief.

A moment later Mina burst through the door fully dressed arms laden with bags and Cody following behind sucking on a lollipop. Taking that as her cue, she hugged her mother before exiting to the car for solace. Sliding into the seat she smiled, she was in for a long night. A few minutes later Andrew and Mina got back in the car.

Starting up the car Andrew smiled widely at his sister. "You look nice."

"Thank you."

"I'm so excited about this!" Mina exclaimed nearly jumping up and down in her seat. "You are totally going to love what they did. I stopped by a little earlier and popped my head in. The alumni committee did a great job..." Mina nattered on as they drove leaving Serena alone to her thoughts and secrets.

Arriving at the ballroom for the final dinner was something completely different from the happy hour that had been given on Friday night. The ballroom had been transformed into what almost looked like their prom from their senior year. A dance floor had been set up in the center of the room, and large circular tables were set up sporadically through the room. Serena found herself bewitched by the environment immediately. On the walls hung enlarged copies of the senior year superlatives.

"Can you believe it!" Mina exclaimed grabbing Serena's hand and pulling her towards a table. Raye walked up snickering to herself. She wore a flaming red colored dress that looked as if it was painted onto her skin. Her jet black hair hung loose around her but to Serena she appeared to be plastered already.

"Can you believe what we looked like back then," Raye babbled. Her arm darted up and pointed to a picture on the wall behind her. Serena turned and stared. "You and Darien won best all around. You guys were so good together, what ever happened to that? You two used to be so good," Raye giggled. "Now look at both of you, neither of you are settled in life.

"Darien nearly married that psycho Beryl and you were in a relationship with a gay pop idol! Life is great, isn't it!" Raye exclaimed slapping Serena on the back. Serena forced a smile as Raye's words sank in. "Best all around, ha!" Serena nodded feeling her giddiness completely drain out of her body. Raye was right, they were good together back in high school but high school was a long time ago.

Helping Raye into a chair and giving her a glass of water Serena turned to Mina. "What happened to her?" Serena whispered to Mina.

Mina glanced over her shoulder before speaking. "She found out that she got a promotion at work today and this must be her way of celebrating. But now that you say something about it, she did have a talk with Danny. She was in a really foul mood after that." Serena nodded not quite sure of what to do. Excusing herself to get a drink she couldn't help but laugh to herself, it was crazy getting back together with everyone. There was always going to be some sort of drama.

"What's cookin' good lookin'," Darien teased approaching her at the bar. Leaning his back up against the bar he smiled widely taking a good look at her.. "Why is it that we always meet up here?" he joked chuckling at his own joke. Serena shook her head taking a sip of her cosmopolitan without saying a word. Her eyes were transfixed on the poster of the two of them smiling like everything was great. When she didn't answer Darien turned to her, his smile dulled somewhat. "Are you alright? Seeing everybody getting to you?"

"I don't know but can you believe all of this. It's crazy right? Everybody being here like this reliving the high school days. I mean look at the picture of Amy. We all knew back then that she would be most likely to succeed. Or that Raye was the most sassy," she continued to rant oblivious to Darien's troublesome expression. "Mina winning everybody's pal of course she was always a social butterfly, or how about Lita winning best excuses. Life is so confusing when you grow up. Growing up sucks!" Serena whined.

Darien gazed at her in shock not quite sure how to respond. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," she mumbled downing the rest of her drink. Being that close to him and knowing that it was ending so soon made her stomach churn, knowing none of it was real just made her want to drink more. Ordering another she picked it walking back over to her friends. Glancing back at Darien, she found him staring at her oddly. She had to just stay away from him, there was no point getting close to be left after the weekend was over. Was there really a point to it all? Ignoring him she tried her best to just forget and make the best of the rest of the weekend.


	6. Let It Be

**A/N: Hello everyone i hope you will enjoy this next chapter. I am excited about how many hits i actually got on the last one although slightly disappointed at the amount that actually reviewed the chapter.... Either way let me konw what you think would love to know where you all think this story is headed!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot... characters are not mine!!**

Way Back Into Love

Chapter 5

Let It Be

Serena couldn't help but reflect on the evening's events as she lay in bed late into the night. Her actions weren't completely unreasonable. She tried convincing herself. But the look of hurt and disappointment on Darien's face had played on repeatedly in her head. She didn't want to get attached; they were just visiting for the weekend. She sighed, wondering what the problem really was, rolling on her side she laid staring out the window. The starless night was no help in clearing her mind. Once she stopped fighting herself, the problem stared her in the face. She couldn't help but feel attached to Darien when he was close. When he was around, she had a hard time thinking, let alone accomplishing anything.

Getting out of bed, she grabbed her robe from the top of her suitcase, and wrapped it tightly around herself. Being in her childhood bedroom with all the emotions bouncing around in her head was too overwhelming. Too much of their history had taken place in this room, it felt like her own personal shrine to her childhood.

Descending the stairs quietly, she entered the kitchen. Making herself a cup of tea, she sat out on the front porch, taking in the night air, trying to settle her thoughts. Hands wrapped around the warm mug, she closed her eyes, rocking lightly on the swing chair. The cool night air was what she needed, as she finally began to weed through all her thoughts and emotions, Serena couldn't shake the feeling of regret lingering in her chest.

"Hey," the familiar voice greeted quietly.

Serena's eyes shot open, peering through the darkness for its owner, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. After a moment, her eyes adjusted to the darkness. When she looked around again, her eyes met with midnight blue. Darien stood on the bottom porch step, leaning casually on the rail watching her. Although his stance was casual, there was nothing casual about him. Watching him, Serena felt her mouth go dry, her stomach dropping in anticipation.

"Hi," she mumbled. "What are you doing here?" she asked when she finally found her voice.

Darien shrugged; cautiously he took the few steps separating them, taking the seat next to her. They sat in silence for a while, the low creak of the swing chair the only sound. Darien shifted his body in an attempt to find a comfortable position on the wooden swing, his knee rubbing against her leg sending an unwanted quiver throughout her body. Serena tried to swallow, but with the growing lump in her throat, found it nearly impossible. A warmth that had become synonymous with Darien's touch began to overwhelm her.

"Are you okay?" Darien asked, breaking the silence. Serena allowed her gaze to settle on him. He looked amazing in the moonlight, his hair in its usual unkempt way, which suited him perfectly. "I mean, are you all right? You are so jumpy, and to be honest with you," he explained, chuckling to himself. "I didn't quite get what you were talking about earlier."

"Oh," Serena muttered, staring down at her hands. Her rant from earlier in the evening seemed like a lifetime ago at the moment, but even with those thoughts so far away, the sentiments they carried weighed heavily on her heart. They were here for the weekend, she reminded herself. Somewhere within her heart, Serena stopped fighting against her thoughts. What if it wasn't just for this weekend? What if they could make it work, she mused glancing at the man to her right. Shaking the thought from her head, she stared into the night, unsure of what to say.

"I," her voice trailed off, her thoughts too muddled to speak coherently. "I, yeah, high school was a longtime ago?" the question came out more as a statement.

Darien sat still, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, he cleared his throat, "Yeah, I suppose."

"It was a great time in our lives," Serena continued reflectively.

Darien turned to face her, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. "Yeah, it was, but people grow up, that's just part of life. It does suck sometimes, but then we get chances like these to realize what's really important."

With her heart beating in her ears, Serena couldn't take it anymore. Leaning over, she pressed her lips against his in a searing kiss that spoke to him in more ways than words could ever do. Serena smiled against his lips, the taste of whiskey invading her senses. Darien didn't miss a cue; he deepened the kiss with as much fervor as she felt. The warmth in the pit of her stomach began spreading throughout her body, a feeling of contentment washing over her. In that moment, it was just the two of them, and she wanted more; she needed more.

Pulling back, he gazed down at her grinning; his eyes communicating what she was feeling. They were asking permission, and she was more than willing to grant it. Gazing into his eyes, she saw everything she was looking for; hope, fear and something else she refused to believe. Serena stood unable to keep the smile off her face. Extending her hand, he took it, following silently. Quietly, they crept up the stairs. Once the door to her bedroom was securely locked, anything needing to be said was forgotten. It was the two of them and nothing else mattered.

"You know," Darien said, tracing circles on her thigh. He stared at her bare skin, pulling her closer. Serena peered up at him, and offered a simple nod. "I love being here, being around you. You make my life so much less complicated; everything makes sense when you're around." Leaning forward he kissed her forehead affectionately.

Serena giggled, throwing her head back, reveling in the feeling. "Really, 'Cause you always seem to complicate mine so much more," she teased, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard.

"I'm being serious!" he laughed, hands roaming her body. "What would you say if I told you being here with you, this weekend had made me realize something?"

Serena could feel her heart race uncontrollably, her body tensed, his hands rubbing the skin on the small of her back. Why did he have to make things so complicated? Why did he always read her heart? Most of all, why was he saying all of these things knowing he would be going back to Chicago that very afternoon.

"Darien," Serena stated firmly. Sitting up, she grabbed her previously discarded shirt off the floor. Standing, she turned her back to him, unable to look into his eyes. She knew what she would see, that's what scared her the most.

She could feel Darien's eyes boring into her back, but couldn't bring herself to turn around. It doesn't matter, she reprimanded herself, and she couldn't allow him to say _it._ _It_ would be too hard to walk away.

"Serena."

There was a sudden intense silence filling the space. Sitting up, he leaned forward staring at his feet, a movement she knew well. He was frustrated with her, and watching his words wisely. When she didn't respond, he sighed, getting out of bed. "Will you at least hear me out?"

Turning, she faced him. She hadn't expected to meet with his bare chest, it threw her off guard. Yet, she couldn't bring her eyes to meet his, it was all too much.

"Darien. Don't. It's just not worth it," Serena answered, hating the insecurity in her voice.

"We have to at least try!" Darien exclaimed. Grabbing her hands, he pulled her forward. Her body instantly reacted to being so close to his, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Serena pushed against his chest, inhaling his scent, it was all too much. "Serena," he spoke her name with such assurance, her gaze instinctively meeting with azure blue eyes. "I want to be with you. Don't you get it; this is Fate's way of telling us, we belong together. You just make everything right."

"We can't," she abruptly interrupted, pulling away; she walked back towards the window. When she spoke again her voice was flat, emotionless, the opposite of what she felt like inside. "We can't."

"But…" Darien stopped for a moment and sighed. "Is it you can't or you don't want to be with me?"

Serena scoffed, was he being serious. His eyes spoke so much to her, he wanted this, but there was no way. She would not allow herself. "Darien," she continued, ignoring his last statement. Dodging him, she escaped to the opposite side of the room, she found herself in need of space from him. She couldn't be near him, he befuddled her thinking. Forcing a smile that didn't reach her eyes, she continued. "We both know it wouldn't work.

"How do you know that!" he exclaimed, fist clenched. His emotions reaching the surface and his frustration boiling over, she could see it in his face. Jaw clenched, he stared deep into her eyes, hope ablaze in his own. Serena sighed, trying to act nonchalant, but failing miserably.

"Come on, we spent the whole weekend acting like hormonal teens! We're not in high school anymore. Do you seriously think it would work with you in Chicago and me in New York? We tried the long distance thing once before. It didn't work."

"We were in college," he argued, his voice raising, arms flailing in the air.

"It didn't work then, what's so different now?" she returned crossly. "And you still didn't answer my question. Do you seriously think this could work with us so far apart?" she asked flatly, motioning between the two of them.

"I don't know," Darien, breathed, closing his eyes, his hands subconsciously running through his already tousled hair. Before she had a chance to answer, he closed the space between them. Hands on her chin, Darien forced her to look into his eyes. "But I am willing to try."

Serena's throat went dry at the tone of his voice, it was soft and unguarded. She felt as if he was staring into her soul, and an intense fear took hold. Turning away, she tried to block the image of him from her mind. This wasn't happening, it was just a reunion.

"You're serious?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

"Yes, I want to be with you. You have the amazing ability to make me happy and drive me crazy all at the same time. I want to try."

Serena pulled away. Why was he trying so hard? Walking to the window, she stared out at the morning horizon.

"The sun is rising," she commented. She could hear movement behind her, but she was stuck, her eyes glued to the pink and orange hues painting the sky. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded weak. "Just let it be. I want to remember this weekend the way it was." Turning to face him, she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Perfect, that's what it was. I want our memories to stay that way."

Darien gazed at her. Approaching her apprehensively, he took her shaking hands into his own. Rubbing them with his thumbs, he began. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Serena's eyes were glued to her shaking hands. Was this really what she wanted, she questioned. Not at all, but it was her head that spoke first. "Yes," she stated quietly, her voice cracking.

Darien nodded, solemnly. "Then I should go," he said, his voice void of all emotions, but his eyes had a way of revealing his disappointment and anguish. Serena nodded, taking his hand tenderly in her own. The two walked down the stairs silently, she released his hand to open the door, the familiar warmth leaving her. Darien sighed, standing awkwardly gazing at Serena; neither knowing what to say.

Darien swallowed hard, smirking down at her. But the emptiness in his expression didn't escape her.

"I guess this is goodbye, then, huh?" Darien mused, more to himself then to her.

"I still want to stay friends," Serena blurted, making one last attempt to mend their already fragile relationship.

Darien scoffed, running his hands through his hair, he shook his head. "It has always been whatever you wanted anyway," he bit bitterly, sarcasm dripping in his voice. Before Serena had a chance to respond, his lips were pressed up against hers. His actions spoke volumes as she quietly relished in the feeling. But just as quickly as it began, it was over, leaving Serena only wanting more. One last silent glance from Darien, he turned and walked away.

"What have I done," she whispered, watching him jog up the street in the direction of his aunt's house. He was walking away from her, and probably right out of her life. The revelation was overwhelming. Wiping an escaped tear, she tried shaking off the feeling. "It's for the best," she lied.

"I sure hope so," a voice called from the top of the stairs. Wide-eyed Serena turned to face her mother, an amused expression gracing her mother's features. Questions shuffled through her mind, but none made it past her lips. "So, are you going to tell me why you and Darien were arguing so early in the morning or are you trying to come up with a lame excuse?"

Serena shuffled her feet looking for an escape. There was no way that she wanted to have this conversation, especially not now. Shutting the door behind her, she shook her head. "How much did you hear?"

"Most of it, but that doesn't matter. Are you okay?" Irene asked, descending the steps and taking her daughter into her arms. Before Serena had a chance to react, her emotions took over. Sobbing in her mother's arms, she felt so weak and childish, but it didn't matter. She wasn't sure how long she stood there in her mother's arms. After a while, Irene led her into the kitchen, making a cup of tea.

"Do you want to talk about it?" her mother offered, sitting watching her daughter.

Serena sipped her tea, pulling her feet up onto the chair she stared at the contents of her cup, trying to find the right place to begin.

"I am going to take a stab in the dark here and say that something happened between you and Darien over the weekend, huh?" Irene speculated.

Serena remained silent. There was no denying it; the whole weekend had been leading to this. "You could say that."

"Are you going to explain, or am I going to have to pry?"

"You know Mom," Serena said laughing to herself. "I think that you have spent all too much time together with Mina. You're beginning to sound like her."

Irene chuckled in agreement. "You're probably right, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to know."

Serena took a deep breath and sighed. Looking up at her mother, she began her story, leaving out the explicit details. Once she had finished, Serena put her head down, tears escaping her eyes.

"Mom, what should I have done?"

"Well," her mother began; Serena recognized the all-knowing tone of voice. "It looks to me like the girl who has always followed her heart, has decided to go with her head for the first time." Irene stopped sipping her tea, letting the words sink in.

"So, are you telling me I made the wrong choice?" Serena questioned, confused.

"I can't answer that question, only you can." Irene answered. "You need to do what you know is right for you, but my question is this. Where does this leave you?"

Serena took a moment to contemplate her response. "I'm going back to New York, that's that. Beyond that, I don't really know."

Irene stood, quietly placing her mug in the sink. Leaving her daughter to her thoughts, she left the room, but not before leaving one lasting comment. "Just think about everything before you make a decision you may regret."

Serena spent the rest of the morning lying around the house, contemplating what to do. She had one last chance and she needed to decide what to do. Procrastinating till the last moment, she began to get ready. A heavy weight settled on her chest as she continually went back and forth; her resolution slowly fading into nothingness. An hour later, she was an internal disaster with the appearance of external calm.

Stepping out of the car, she started towards the backyard, an overwhelming sense of dread fell upon her. She had to make a decision.

"Serena! It's about time. I thought I was going to have to go get you myself," Mina joked, grabbing her friend's hand and pulling her towards the mall group.

Unintentionally, Serena felt herself scanning the yard for the raven-haired man. After a second glance, she turned towards Mina, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Where's Darien?"

Mina turned with an odd expression on her face and shrugged, watching her friend closely. "He left. He called this morning saying something about heading back early to take care of some important business. Why?"

Serena felt herself falter, but out of all the possible situations she anticipated, this wasn't one of them. "I was just wondering is all," she laughed it off. "I remembered something and thought he would get a kick out of it. Oh well," she finished, trying her best to play out the lie.

Mina exchanged a glance with Raye before excusing herself. Serena knew what that exchange meant, but didn't care. She believed she would be able to make the choice, not have the choice made for her. There was only one problem, could she live with it?


	7. What!

**A/N: Hello all!! I hope you have been enjoying this story... I have been trying to update a little more regularly... I am at least two chapters ahead at the moment which is great. My plan is to update either every Sunday or every other Sunday. I will be honest the more reviews i get the more likely I am to update sooner rather than later. I will admit I currently do no have a beta so all this material is a little raw. I have read through it but we all know that sometime you can miss stuff especially when its your own work. Either way i hope you enjoy this chapter and review... the take all the good bad and ugly!!!**

Way Back Into Love

Chapter 6

What!

Serena sat furiously type away on her computer when Melvin first entered their office. His hair sticking up in every direction as usual, glasses pushed up against the bridge of his nose, but he seemed not to notice, or care. He watched her thoughtfully for a minute before dropping the books he had been holding onto his desk. The sound of the books seemed to draw Serena from her work, glancing up she smiled warmly at him before turning her attention back to the computer screen.

"Serena, are you okay?" Melvin ventured turning on his own lap top and waiting while it loaded up. She nodded, eyes still studying the screen feverishly. Melvin took a moment to examine her haggard appearance. After a few weeks of this behavior, Melvin was convinced something had happened when she had gone to the reunion. In the last couple years he had never seen her work herself so zealously, or look so gaunt. Even her once vibrant eyes, now seemed dulled somewhat. But the thing that tipped him off mostly was her attitude towards the weekend as a whole. Serena had told him all about it, but something was missing from her story, that much was obvious. All in all he knew not to push, if she wanted to talk about it she would, he wouldn't push her.

He sighed, picking up some memos he had neglected to read thus far, scanning through them one caught his eyes. "Have you submitted your book list for next semester yet?" Melvin asked, breaking the silence in the room.

Serena glanced up leaning back into her chair. Rubbing her eyes with her hands she nodded. "Yeah, earlier this week actually. I finished my syllabus too. What about you?"

Melvin laughed, shaking his head. "I must say I'm not quite sure what's happened to you over the last month but I'm pretty sure that Jonathan will be very pleased. You are usually the last one to hand these things in."

Serena shrugged again, closing down her computer. "I know, he thought I was playing with him when I sent him the email. Just trying to keep up with all my work," she lied. Melvin's expression told her he didn't believe a word she was saying but he didn't say anything to the contrary. "I think I'm going to head home a little early today. I'm still not feeling all that well."

Melvin nodded turning his attention to his work as she continued to pack up. She knew he wanted to say something more on the topic but refrained himself. She was exhausted and her feet hurt, even though she had been sitting in her chair most of the day. Turning off her desk lap, she bid Melvin goodnight.

"Rena," he began. It was so rare that he used her nickname that it caught her off guard. She turned to face him, the expression on his face sheer worry. "Don't work yourself so hard, it's not healthy. Go home and relax, you look like you could use it."

Serena smiled in thanks, promised she would before leaving for the evening. Stepping out into the warm spring air she sighed, trying to decide what to do. She had always enjoyed riding the train but as of late between the motion sickness and nausea she had been reconsidering that notion. Besides the motion sickness, her sense of smell had developed in the oddest of ways, the mixture of all the smells was just another reason she had taken to cabs. Better the smell of a cab for a short while, then the smell of the subway for an hour, she had convinced herself.

Walking a few avenues away from the college she finally hailed a cab, happily sinking into the worn leather of the backseat. The overwhelming scent of incenses filled her nostrils, causing a new wave of nausea to sweep over her. Shutting her eyes she willed the apple she had eaten for lunch to remain in her stomach. Ten minutes later, the cab pulled to a stop in front of her building, thrusting the money at the cabbie she exited the vehicle as quickly as she could. Sighing in relief she vowed to try the train again, maybe it wasn't so bad.

Lita was not home, as per usual, when Serena arrived and she was glad for it. It seemed as if everyone she knew had attended a secret meeting. She being the topic of discussion. She was tired of all the worried glances, fixed expression, and most of all the lingering questions about the reunion. She was sure that they were all aware something had happened over the weekend, but every time anyone questioned her about it she had blow the question off.

The truth was she still thought about that weekend a lot, which was the real reason why she had kept herself so busy. But in times like these, when no one was around, and there were no work to do she found herself wondering exactly what Darien was up too. The loneliness of those question seeped into her mind and heart, the little voice in the back of her head tell her it was her fault she didn't know. She knew that all she would have to do was pick up the phone and call him. He had emailed her a couple of times over the last month, but she hadn't the courage to write back.

Trying to clear the thoughts from her mind she opened the refrigerator door in search of something to eat. Her appetite had been very strange over the last couple of weeks. One minute she would be craving the weirdest combination and the next be repulsed by some of her favorite food. Lita had noticed, and commented one night but Serena evaded this question as well, blaming it on a stomach bug. Lita hadn't believed her, but she also hadn't pushed the topic.

Pushing a few items around she pulled out the carton of spaghetti and sauce Lita had brought home the previous evening and reheated it. After a quiet dinner in front of the television Serena could fight her exhaustion no more. Waiting up for Lita had become a task, checking her watch she noted Lita should be home any minute. Slinking to her bed she climbed in, but her stomach had another thing planned.

Serena had only been lying in bed for a few minutes when the copper taste; she associated with nausea materialized in her mouth. Rolling out of bed she knew what would happen next, it had been happening over the last week, and she was always glad that Lita hadn't been home for most of them. She didn't need more question and most of all, didn't want the phone chain that would accompany it.

Her bare legs against the cool tiled floor, hands gripping tightly to the sides of the porcelain toilet, she felt the first wave approaching. The unwelcome feeling of queasiness was always the first sign. Leaning further over the toilet, she watched the contents of her stomach being emptied. An unpleasant feeling she had always hated, as it happened again.

Ten minutes later she lay with her head against the wall, exhausted and drained. Serena pulled herself to her feet, rinsing out the foul taste from her mouth. She groaned, her body felt weaker than ever and she was sure this was more than just some stomach virus. The only problem was she didn't feel like she could tell anyone at the moment, every one of them would go into a frenzy. They would freak out, she convinced herself. This was something she could handle on her own.

"Sick again?" a voice greeted. Serena didn't look up as she splashed cool water on her heated face. Lita's voice was enough to convince her that she was making the right decision. When she didn't answer Lita continued. "Sere," her voice held worry and caution. She was choosing her next few words wisely. "I don't want to seem like I'm prying or anything-"

Before she could continue Serena shook her head, pushing past her friend. "Then don't," she interrupted bitterly. "I'm fine. I already told you, it must be some stupid stomach bug that's going around."

Lita eyed her friend closely, shaking her head. "I don't believe it. It's been over a week already. You look pale."

"And?"

"Will you please go and visit a doctor at least?" Lita asked, her tone demanding and yet pleading at the same time.

Serena glared at her friend, who was glaring right back. They had never been the ones to argue with each other. They were calm and collected the best of friends but now it seemed like Lita had joined the dark side. Why was everyone so concerned, she was a grown woman who was capable of taking good care of herself. She didn't need anyone telling her what to do.

"Why?"

"'Cause," Lita exhaled deeply sinking onto the corner of Serena's bed. Serena noticed for the first time how tired Lita looked herself. Refusing to believe any of it had to do with her Serena stood her ground. Arms crossed tightly over her chest, she continued to glare at her friend waiting for her to continue. "I know you know. Everyone is really worried about you." There was a pleading in her voice that Serena had never heard before. "I know something happened at the reunion even though you refuse to talk about it but that's fine. I know you well enough to know that no one can push you into something that you don't want to do yourself."

Lita sat up, sighed deeply and continued. This time when her eyes met Serena's, her guard broke down. The expression on her friends was pure anxiety, but it was more than that. She knew her friends cared for her; she cared for them the same way. Stopping to think for a moment Serena had to give in. If she was in Lita's position she would be doing the exact same thing.

"All I'm asking is for you to go and see a doctor. You have been so tired lately, and the so called stomach virus. It could be nothing but then again it could be something. I would hate for anything to happen to you," Lita finished, a tear slipping down her cheek. Serena smiled at her friend taking the seat next to her.

"Fine, I'll go see a doctor if it will keep you from crying. Goodness gracious," Serena answered embracing her friend in a hug. Lita hugged her back laughing lightly.

As the middle of May approached Serena finally give in completely and made the appointment. This time it wasn't Lita's urging, or Melvin's worried expressions that caused the change of heart. It was her own growing anxiety that something might really be wrong with her. She swallowed nervously at the thought as she sat in the waiting room of her doctor's office. The room was quiet; only two other patients sat waiting. She allowed her eyes to roam the room. The walls were creamed colored and bland, a few replica paintings hung on the walls, nothing she recognized though. The maroon clothed chairs were well worn and the gray rug, shabby.

"Serena Hunter," a young brunette read, glancing up she smiled at Serena. Serena gathered her things and greeted the nurse. Her anxiety slowly rose as she followed the nurse past a few closed doors; she could hear voices behind a few of the doors but didn't get a chance to hear what they were saying. She was to focused on her own destination that when the nurse stopped abruptly in front of a scale she nearly ran into her.

"Sorry," she mutter, cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

The nurse smiled pleasantly instructing Serena to step in the scale. Serena watched the numbers with interest; she hadn't been on a scale in a while. "One thirty," the nurse read jotting the numbers down on her chart. Serena stared at her in shock.

"I'm sorry, how much did you say?" she asked, shock evident on her face.

The nurse eyed her cautiously. "One thirty."

Serena nodded forcing a smile, as she followed the nurse into one of the examining rooms. It wasn't that big of a deal but how she could not have noticed that she had gained ten pounds. She couldn't remember a time when she didn't weigh one twenty, but if she had really allowed herself to see it all the signs were there. Her clothes were a little tighter and although her appetite had stayed the same somehow it was different.

Still reeling from the shock of her weight she sat on the examining table as the nurse did the normal physical examination. She asked a few question and made a few notes on her chart before leaving with a promise that the doctor would be in soon to see her. Serena nodded, only half listening. The florescent white lights bouncing off the matching walls did nothing to help ease the still mounting anxiety in her chest, the nausea that she had been suppressing edging its way to the surface. She wasn't sure how long she sat there in her own thoughts. What if something really is wrong? she thought.

"Hello Miss Hunter."

Serena jumped startled by the sudden entrance of her doctor, a short African American woman with a pleasant face and a calming smile. "Hello Dr Miranda."

The doctor smiled warmly picking up the chart and taking a seat in the chair opposite Serena. Taking a moment she read through a few notes before flipping to the next page. "So Serena, what brings you here today?"

Serena forced a smile and shrugged. Trying her best to act nonchalant she began, "I have had this stomach virus thing for a while now and my friends are all so worried about me. So I decided that it would be best to see a doctor to get them off my case."

Dr Miranda laughed shaking her head making a note on her chart. "Well then, are there any other symptoms besides the stomach virus?"

Serena stayed silent for a moment debating whether or not to tell her doctor the whole truth. The fear of all the possibilities with the fears of knowing the truth mixed into one emotion, she needed to know what was really going on. "Well," she began. "Honestly a couple of things have been off." Dr Miranda looked up interested in what she was about to say. "Over the last couple of weeks I've sort of developed these headaches, which I've never really had before."

"Anything else?" the doctor asked making another note on her chart. Serena sighed and continued, it was after all now or never.

"I mean I've had the usual bloating and my goodness I can't even ride the train anymore. The motion of it all makes me sick."

Dr Miranda nodded meaningfully. "When was your last period?" she inquired, eyes still on the chart.

Serena stopped and thought. When was her last period? She tried feebly to remember before shrugging. It had been over two months. "A while ago, I can't remember," she answered weakly. Dr Miranda nodded again making another note.

"Have you had any soreness of the breast?" Serena nodded; nervous anxiety began to slowly creeping up from her stomach and spreading throughout her body. Dr Miranda made another note, but when she looked up at Serena she was smiling widely. Even with the smiling doctor sitting a few feet away the apprehension continued to grow. "Serena, I would like you to take a blood test just to make sure everything is okay."

"But what does this all mean?" Serena asked unable to keep the panic out of her voice.

Doctor Miranda just laughed shaking her head. "Don't worry it's nothing horrible. If I am correct, congratulation is in order." Serena stared at her shocked, a jumble of thoughts racing through her head. Upon seeing the confused expression on her face Dr Miranda continued. "You're pregnant."

Serena sat cross legged, phone at her side. The results of her blood test were due back anytime now. Of course as soon as she had left the office she had raced to the drug store and bought several different tests. Every one of them confirmed her greatest fear, she was in fact pregnant but she still had hope that the blood test would come back negative and it would have all been a false alarm.

The sudden ringing of the phone jerked her out of her reveries. Answering it on the second ring, she knew her voice sounded panicked. "Hello?" she blurted.

"Good afternoon, is Serena Hunter available?"

"This is she."

"Hi, this is Theresa from Labcorp. I have the results of your blood test here, and I would like to be the first to congratulate."

"About what?" she asked, she needed to hear the words. Have her worst fear confirmed.

When Theresa spoke again, her jovial voice was a little less bright. "You are in fact pregnant."

"Thank you," Serena deadpanned. Theresa continued to talk giving her a few instructions that she only vaguely listened to. As she hung up the phone she felt nothing. It's better to be numb, she thought sinking deeper into the couch.

There was no doubt in her mind who was the father of the child. Subconsciously her hand began to rub her belly. The pressure behind her eyes was too much and slowly the tears began to flow. When she had imagined being pregnant it had always been after she was married, when she was ready. She was definitely not ready for this now.

The front door to her apartment opened, Serena quickly wiped her eyes hoping that her face wasn't puffy yet. Lita dropped her bags in the kitchen before sinking into the couch next to her. One look at her friends face and Serena knew she had been caught.

"What happened? Did the doctor finally call? What did he say?" Lita's questions came out like a nervous ramble. Serena swallowed the lump in her throat, it was now or never. Besides, she needed as much support as she could get.

"I'm fine," she answered, emotion thick in her voice. Lita gazed at her friend unbelieving. "I'm just pregnant."

The look on Lita's face was enough to make Serena burst out laughing. It was a mixture of disbelief and uncertainty. "What?"

"I'm pregnant." Serena watched as the words slowly sunk in. Lita's expression changed into a muddled mess. She didn't know whether to be happy, upset, or worried.

A moment of silence passed between the two, each deep in their own thoughts. "Whose the father?"

Serena wasn't prepared for it to be the first question but she sighed closing her eyes even more tightly. "Darien."

"When?"

"The reunion."

"And does he know?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Dunno."

"Are you going to keep it?"

It was a question Serena had been pondering since Dr Miranda told her of the possibility. Serena didn't believe in abortions, and as much as she supported adoptions the thought of someone else raising her child was distressing. One too many lifetime films, she had told herself. She was old enough and had a stable enough job to handle it on her own. After mulling it over for a few days she knew the answer.

"Yes."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple days, but the test just came back today."

"Oh."

An unusual silence filled the air between them. "Will you come to my appointment with me?" Serena asked voice just above a whisper. Lita nodded a smirk on her face. "What?"

"You're pregnant!"

Serena groaned and shook her head. As much of a shock and as scary as the whole experience seemed, the excitement began to slowly take over. Lita reached over and rubbed the small pouch that had formed still smiling widely.

"There is a lot to think about."

"I'm just glad the semester is over," Serena breathed, Lita still rubbing her belly. It was an awkwardly welcoming feeling. "At least I have a few weeks before the summer session begins."

Lita jumped up leaving the room for a few moments. When she returned her cell phone was in hand. Serena shook her head; there was no point in trying to keep it from the others. Her decision was made; she was going to have this baby. "We need a phone conference!"

Over the next week Serena's nonstop questioning continued. She had told everybody, including her mother and Melvin. All of whom questioned her about the identity of the father. Serena informed them all of the truth but made them each swear not to say a word to him. She would when the time was right. Raye had given her the biggest grief about this decision, understandably in Serena's opinion. Raye just couldn't understand how she could keep something this important from her cousin, Serena didn't have an answer she just ignored the question all together.

It was at the first gynecological appointment that Serena received the second shock of her pregnancy. Lita was sitting at her right, when Dr Carter entered the room; a middle aged woman, whom Dr Miranda had recommended.

"How are you feeling today Serena?" she asked pulling sitting on the stool and reading over the chart.

"Okay, tired but fine."

"Are you still having your headaches?"

"Depending on the day," Serena answered. Lita laughed shaking her head, Serena knew that Lita was the most excited out of the bunch, even more excited then Mina. "Dr Carter, this is my friend Lita."

"Nice to meet you," the doctor returned shaking Lita's hand. "Are you two life partners?"

"Life partner?" Lita asked, a mixture of confusion on her face.

Serena laughed shaking her head. "No, not at all. We have just known each other since high school."

Doctor Carter smiled as she began her examination. After a few more questions and being poked and prodded, Doctor Carter took out the jelly solution. "This will be cold," she warned.

Serena hated the feeling of the jelly on her belly, next Dr Carter rolled over a screen and took a contraption Serena had only seen on television out. "If the conception date is correct then according to my calculations you will be about eleven weeks along by now." Serena nodded, she had done those calculations herself. "So, would you like to hear your baby's heart beat?" Serena shook her head, this was the proof. Not that she didn't believe it, but to actually see her child was something completely different.

The doctor turned up the volume before placing the contraption onto her still exposed stomach. Slowly she moved it around, a soft thud emitting from the speaker. Dr Carter smiled her finger on the screen. All Serena could make out was a large mass. "Let's see, here is are the legs," she began then stopped. She moved the ultrasound tool around to the other side before she let out a chuckle.

"What is it?" Lita asked, not sure if she should be laughing or getting ready to hear awful news.

"You are having twins," Dr Carter announced. Lita squealed, but internally Serena went numb. "See, when I was showing you the legs I noticed that there was a third one, when I moved the scanner over the second child became visible," she explained. Serena nodded listening intently as Dr Carter pointed out the different body parts.

A half hour later, Serena was sitting on the couch contemplating everything that had happened over the last couple of weeks. Was she excited about the babies? Of course but with the suddenness of the news of twins she wasn't quite sure she would be able to handle that on her own. She thought about the possibility of telling Darien, he would be more than willing to help her out, she knew how important family was to him. The thought made her insides twinge, closing her eyes she let her mind wander for the first time, Darien had no immediate family. She knew he wanted on, but she wasn't sure how he would take the news.

Getting up she decided to clear her mind. Pulling her lap top onto the coffee table she flipped it on and opened her email account. For the next few minutes she weeded through the spam and opened important mail from work. As she neared the bottom of the list, she gasped. In bold letters was an email from Darien, which was dated three days prior. Did he know? Did Raye tell?

Heart racing she clicked it open, fearful of what it contained. Taking in a deep breath she began to read it.

_Serena,_

_It has been a while since I last wrote you and since you refuse to respond to my phone calls or emails I figured it was time I made my confession to you. That night you said that you wanted to be friends, and I have tried. Yet you seem to refuse any little attempt I have made. I spent the last two months hoping that you would have changed your mind somehow but I can see that the chances of that happening are very slim. So here it is. The truth is with you it has always been an all or nothing situation. I have given you my all and I have received nothing in return, so with this I am saying that I am done. I can't do this in between thing where I hope you will come around someday. So I lay it out, I am not expecting an answer back from you, although it would be a welcomed surprise. _

_Let is be known that I have tried and I meant every word I said to you but I just can't do this to myself any longer._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Darien_

Serena sat dumbstruck. Reading the email over and over she just couldn't get her mind around the words in front of her. Tears slowly slid down her face. All or nothing, she repeated to herself. She wasn't ready for that big of a commitment, not with the twins on the way. The twin, if he was being serious shouldn't tell him now. He would want a commitment; want them to be a family. She wasn't ready, would she ever be, she asked herself. Leaning back into the sofa a melancholic though ran through her head. He had made her decision for her; there was no way she could tell him now. She would just have to deal, and do this on her own.


	8. Looking Back

**I am going on vacation for the next two weeks and probably won't be able to post anything… if I do it will be something that is already written… so there won't be an update from this story most likely since my beta has yet to return… this is unbetaed…… sorry for all mistakes.**

Part 2

Chapter 7

Looking Back

_August 2009_

"Mommy," a voice whispered breaking through the hazy all too vivid dream of solace on a deserted beach. "I'm hungry."

Reaching up to rub the sleep out of her eyes Serena couldn't help the groan that escaped. Turning her head she smiled sleepily at the sandy haired boy pouting, he was biting his bottom lip, a trait he had inherited from her. His blue eyes watched her closely, taking a deep breath she stretched her legs out, hitting a small lump with her knee that was lying in the middle of her bed. "Xander, I'll be up in a minute, okay?"

"I want French toast," he whined, pulling on her arm and biting further into his bottom lip. Serena rolled over, eyes gazing disdainfully at the bright red numbers of the alarm. _Seven thirty_, she thought closing her eyes again and inwardly groaning. "Please," he added as an afterthought when his had yet to move.

"Why don't you go watch some TV and I'll start breakfast." The pout disappeared instantaneously, a moment later Xander disappeared out the bedroom door and the blaring sounds of the Disney channel were heard through the thin walls of the apartment. Sitting up in bed Serena reached for the hair tie on her nightstand pulling her blonde hair out of her face and into a high messy ponytail on the top of her head. At her feet she noted the small ebony haired child curled in a ball.

Tori had climbed into her bed in the middle of the night, _again_. A bad habit that started only a few short months ago but that Serena had yet to figure out a way to stop. Leaning against the headboard she closed her eyes taking a few minutes to allow herself to wake up and brain to become fully functional. _Seven thirty_, she thought again. When was the last time she had been able to sleep past eight on a Saturday morning, she couldn't remember. Life was so busy between work and the kids that if sleep was optional she would have to give it up altogether.

Sliding out of bed, she left Tori sleeping enviously and headed towards the kitchen to start breakfast. French toast with whipped cream and strawberries, it was the Saturday morning tradition; just as it had been when she was a child. Clicking on the coffee machine, Serena sighed looking around the cramped two bedroom apartment of the five story walk up in Spanish Harlem.

_Spanish Harlem, _she mused. Never in her life had she imagined she would end up living in Spanish Harlem. She was by no means against living here; it was just never a thought in her mind. Spanish Harlem was on the opposite end of the city from what she was used to but with the extravagant costs of an apartment in midtown Manhattan and a shrinking budget she had had no choice by the time the twins were just over a year old. A lot of things had changed, she reminisced as she cracked the first two eggs for the French toast mixture. Living in a tiny apartment in Spanish Harlem, having to raise two children on her own, and giving up her full time professorship to take a position as a high school English teacher being a few.

The coffee machine beeped twice bringing Serena back from her thoughts. Mechanically she reached for a mug and filled it with the dark liquid she so desperately craved. Her mind continued to wander as she added milk to her coffee before turning back to the French toast that was waiting.

_So much has changed, _she thought as she whisked the eggs lightly. Four years had gone by since Serena had made her decision and although they had been the hardest four years of her life, they had also brought more joy than she could have ever imagined. With every tear that had been shed, there had been a happy memory to outshine. Loving smiles, first words and steps among a variety of other memories that often bombarded her in times of despair. _Alexander Mason and Victoria Olivia_, the two people on the planet that had turned her world upside. They had come into the world with a bang, arriving on the day of Serena's surprise baby shower and from that moment had been surprising her since. Alexander, who everybody called Xander, was the exact replica of Serena in looks. His wavy blonde hair and blue eyes made him undeniably her child, their baby pictures matching precisely. While Tori resembled her father in every way, the dark ebony locks cascading down her face, to her cobalt eyes reflecting back at Serena as her father's had so many years before. The difference between their personalities were completely the same, while Tori was loud and outspoken wearing her heart on her sleeve, very much like her mother, Xander was quiet and reserved.

Serena turned watching as her daughter dragged the kitchen chair from the table and towards the counter. "Can I help?"

"Of course," Serena nodded helping her up onto the chair. Tori yawned as she reached to take the whisk from her mother's hand. Serena added the milk and watched as her daughter carefully stirred the mixture.

How difficult the years had been, being a single parent of two children was demanding and exhausting. If it hadn't been for all the help of those around her Serena was positive she would have given up, or at least had a mental breakdown by this point in time. Thinking back her heart swelled with emotion at all those who had stepped up to take on the large responsibility. How her mother had willingly given up so much to come to New York and stay with her the first few months and then again when Xander had gotten severely ill two years later. Serena was well aware of the consequences her choice had brought upon those closest to her. As bad as she felt about what other had to sacrifice to help her, there was so much they had all gained by doing so. Serena sighed as she watched her daughter, the constant reminder of the man she had left behind. As they added the last of the ingredients Tori bounced around happily singing to herself. This was what Saturday mornings looked like in the Hunter household, over energetic children and an exhausted mother who craved more sleep.

"Tori!" Xander yelled from the living room. "Hannah Montana is on! Come see!" In a flash the ebony haired child was gone from the kitchen leaving her mother to finish making breakfast, as usual. Serena grimaced as the sounds of the television filtered in from the living room, she hated Hannah Montana. How many times could a child watch the same episode and still find it interesting!

Serena went to work as quickly as she could preparing the breakfast, as the French Toast cooked in the pan she began washing and cutting up the fruit. Preparing breakfast for herself on a Saturday morning was something she hadn't expected to do for a long time. She could still remember the days when Lita would have breakfast made or they would go to brunch together, those days, while still there were far and few between. _Lita,_ she thought as she flipped the first round of French toast in the pan. Lita had become one of her biggest support systems over the last four years. Serena had known after the twins were born that she couldn't continue to live the way she had before, Lita didn't need a screaming baby at two in the morning but when she had broached the subject with Lita, Lita had literally thrown a hissy fit.

_Serena sighed, something she had found herself doing a lot of recently. She had been building up the courage to have this conversation for over a week now and as the time to sign the new lease dwindled closer and closer there was no more time to avoid it. The sound of a crying baby brought her back from her reveries. Reaching out she picked Tori out of the basinet cradling her closely._

_"I love you," she whispered kissing her daughter affectionately on the forehead. Tori blinked and gurgled happily blissfully unaware of the inner torrents of emotion streaming through her mother._

_"Everything alright?" Lita called entering the cramped living. The once spacious space now littered with baby necessities and odd an ends. Serena nodded turning Tori to face Lita. "How's my girl?" Lita asked reaching over and taking Tori from Serena._

_"Good, just woke up, just looking for a little lovin' I suppose," Serena answered chuckling lightly as she watched her friend interact with her child. This conversation was going to be harder than she expected. "Hey Lita, there is something I've been meaning to discuss with you." _

_Lita glance up suspiciously. "Yeah?"_

_"I've been thinking, our lease is up soon…" Serena's voice trailed off at the stern expression her friends face. Her heart beating wildly as she continued, staring down at her hands unable to meet her friends gaze. "I am getting my own place."_

_An icy silence filled the space between them, only broken by the sounds of Tori happily cooing to herself. "Your what?"_

_"I already started looking. Violet found me a two bedroom apartment in Spanish Harlem that would suit us just fine. I mean it is a five story walk up but I'll deal and I can afford it."  
"Did I do something?" Lita questioned, her voice even but full of unspoken hurt. Serena glanced up for the first time taking in her friends expression. She was taking the news in the completely wrong way._

_"Lita, of course not. It's the exact opposite, you shouldn't have to be deal with all this," she returned motioning to the room around her. Lita's eyes narrowed darkly shaking her head._

_"No," she answered simply. Serena stared for a moment._

_"What do you mean no?"_

_"I mean no, I think that's crap. You can't just move out on me like that!" Lita jumped up. Serena cringed at the tone of her voice. There hadn't been many times in there adulthood that Lita had used that tone. Her nostrils flared as she stood up pacing the room back and forth with Tori carefully nestled to her chest. "Why would you do that?"_

_Serena sighed, again, getting up and going to the kitchen to prepare the bottle for Tori. While that was her excuse she was using the time away to give Lita a few minutes to compose herself. After a few minutes Serena returned with the bottle in her hand, cautious of Lita's reaction._

_"Lita," she began but Lita stopped her._

_"I don't know why you want to do this and I think this is crap. I will not let this happen!"_

The memory made Serena smile, only after much convincing and persuasion had she been able to sway her over. After all she was getting married and they couldn't be roommate forever. Even now Lita still over exerted herself to make sure she was part of the twins' lives. While she and Ken were the godparents of Xander, she spoiled both of them rotten. Serena knew the reason why she was so attached to the twins, a pang of hurt and guilt shot through her and she had to take a deep breath to steady the thoughts. Shortly after her wedding to Ken, Lita had received the most devastating news any women could receive, she was unable to conceive herself. The news had nearly broken her, and while they knew other options were available to them as a couple, they just couldn't wrap themselves around the news, something Serena was still cautious about. The result was both Lita and Ken had become nearly surrogate parents to Xander and Tori. They took the twins one weekend a month and were constantly coming over to visit or watch them when something came up. They were also the first people the twins wanted to talk to when something great happened, after their mother of course. Even still, the news of not being able to conceive a child of their own was still a topic which was unapproachable.

"Breakfast is ready!" Serena called from the kitchen as she carried the plates out to the table. In return she received no response. Sighing heavily and mentally cursing the Disney channel she popped her head into the small living room and shut off the television. "Breakfast you two, don't let it get cold."

In a moment Tori had raced passed Serena to take her seat at the table eagerly, while Xander hung back, he after all was the pickiest eater of the bunch. "Come on Xander," Serena encouraged walking to the table and beginning to serve up breakfast. "You have to eat something. We're meeting Katie and Ryan at the park later."

The very mention of Katie and Ryan, Melvin's children, brought a resounding cheer through the room. As the children chatted happily about the escapades the day would surely hold for them, Serena's eyes landed on the check that was still sitting on the table. Sighing she picked it up and shook her head, Violet had not taken the check, yet again. _Violet,_ she mused to herself as her they continued to eat carrying a cheerful conversation with the children. Serena still found it ironic that her student had turned around and become the teacher, or rather savior in the early years.

_"Come in," Serena replied in response to the knock on the door. Violet popped her head in smiling widely. _

_"Hello Professor," she greeted smiling widely. "I was wondering if you could help me with something. I am having a very hard time with the story on hubris we are supposed to be writing." Serena nodded motioning for Violet to take the seat. Right now, the last thing she wanted to do was talk about hubris, pride that leads to the demise of the protagonist. The irony was just too much to take, along with the morning sickness._

_"What are you having problems with," Serena sighed leaning forward to take the proffered paper from her student. Violet stopped and stared for a moment._

_"I can come back at another time, I can see you're not well," Violet said pulling the paper back from Serena and placing it back in her bag. This woman was too perceptive for her own good. "Are you okay?"_

_Serena stared for a long moment holding back the tears. Was she okay? She had the resounding urge to scoff but held it back and shrugged. "I'm okay."_

_Violet eyes her for a long moment leaning back in the chair and staring at her professor. "I don't believe you," she answered firmly, her Spanish accent thicker as she spoke. _

_Serena laughed humorlessly taking the situation into account. She was pregnant with twins, with no father, and feeling completely alone. "It's not appropriate to discuss such things with a student Violet."_

_It was Violet's turn to laugh. Shaking her head she raised an eyebrow. "Everybody needs somebody Serena," she returned. They had always been quite frank with each other over the years and had developed more of a friendship through their encounters. "Now tell me what's wrong. I'm here to listen."_

_Serena stared back incredulously at her student. The older woman was not going anywhere. "I'm pregnant," she muttered staring down at her hands. The tears slowly leaking out from her eyes as she finally unloaded everything that had been plaguing her over the last month. While she still had yet to regret her decision to not tell Darien, she wasn't sure she would be able to do it on her own, and that's what she told Violet. And so it began, once the flood gates were opened Serena couldn't stop herself from talking. Al the fears, insecurities, and inadequacies that she had been feeling came flooding out. Violet sat listening to every word not interrupting and more importantly not judging. "I don't know if I can do this on my own," Serena finished holding her face in her hands and trying to get control of herself._

_"Mi colega, you're not alone, you have people who love you and love those babies. I know this seems scary right now but there are worst things out there. I have lived through worst and am still surviving!"_

_"But I'm not as strong as you," Serena admitted finally finding some relief from the invisible boulder that had taken residence on her chest as of late._

_Violet leaned forward smiling a knowing smile. "You never know what you are strong enough to handle till you have to face it."_

Those words still rung true, Serena thought smirking as she washed the breakfast dishes sometime later. Violet had been so right in her encouragement and Serena had learned to lean on others in the hard times quickly. It wasn't that she abused those closest to her but when she needed help she knew how to lean on her support system. Of which Violet was a part of. Violet had helped Serena in more ways then she knew how to thank her. When she needed a shoulder to cry on, a mother's advice she called Violet. Now that Serena was no longer a professor at the college the two had formed a bond of friendship that was unique and unbreakable. Violet had helped Serena when the children were sick, and even when she had been searching for the right daycare. If there was a day that Serena was not able to pick up the children due to a meeting, Violet was readily available and moreover willing to help. The twins considered her their Nona_, _and loved spending time with her just the same as Lita and Ken. So as Serena stuffed the check in her wallet she couldn't help but smile. Violet had after all watched the kids only last night so Serena could go to a meeting at the college to keep her position as an adjunct professor, and once again Violet had left the check Serena had given her for her time.

"Come on guys; let's get you ready for the park!" Serena called wiping the excess water from her hands and heading to the twin's room to pick out clothing. Her hands skimmed over the clothing in the closet as Tori bound in, obviously resolute on choosing her own outfit.

"I wanna wear the yellow dress," she huffed scowling at the jean shorts Serena had pulled from the pile. Serena sighed relenting to her daughter's love of dressing up already, how opposite they were in that area.

"You're going be playing in the park and the sandbox, are you sure you want to wear a dress?" Serena questioned. Tori smiled widely, her manipulative crooked smile, _just like her father,_ she thought shaking her head. "Alright if that's what you want."

Serena quickly pulled out some shorts and a tee shirt for Xander, who could care less if he spent the day in pajamas. Setting them on the bed she left the children to getting ready going to her computer to check her email.

Logging in she saw a few messages but on message in particular caught her eye. _Raye,_ she thought. How odd was it that Raye was writing her an email, they hadn't had a civil conversation in years, yet along an email that was sent specifically to her. Usually it went in as a group to all the girls but this one was specifically sent to her. Leaning back in her chair, she couldn't help but reminisce of that fateful day she had informed Raye of her decision, it had after all changed their relationship forever. Serena often wondered if things were different or if the relationship was even salvageable at this point.

_"What do you mean you're not telling him?"Raye exclaimed angrily, her volume reaching unheard levels over the phone. "He has every right to know, they are his children!" Serena exhale noisily glad she had decided to tell them over the phone rather than in person. Having to see the anguished faces would have broken her already weakened spirits. While Amy, Lita, and Mina hadn't been exactly thrilled by the idea of Serena's plan, Raye's hostility was radiating through the phone in waves of fury that Serena had never experienced._

_Lita, who was settled on the love seat on the opposite end of the room, grimaced watching her friend's reaction. The phone chain had been something of a comfort, not having to tell them all individually. While Lita's advice had been the exact same as the others, her reproof had been nothing to the tone and voice Raye was currently using, no one had been so hostile._

_"Raye, this is my choice. This is my right!" Serena exclaimed, her voice on the verge of cracking from the sheer emotion she was attempting to repress. Why couldn't she just understand, why would Raye intentionally try to make this harder then it needed to be. Darien was the one who had given her the ultimatum, whether intentional or inadvertent. There was no way she could handle telling him, knowing exactly what he would _expect_ to occur._

_"Serena they are his children," Raye retorted her fury still evident but every word enunciated with precision and carefully punctuated for effect. "How can you even begin to say that. He has every right to know. This is _Darien_ we're talking about. He would want to be there to take care of them… and you!"_

_"That's the point Raye!" Serene cried back her tears slowly slipping down her cheeks, unable to hold the ache of her own emotions back any further. Discussing this was making it all that much harder. She didn't need condemnation at the moment, but support._

_"Raye," Mina said speaking for the first time since the conversation had begun. Her voice was very strained, a warning in her tone._

_"Let's please stat rational and hear her out," Amy's ever peacemaking voice rang through cutting through the building tension over the phone. _

_Serena heard Raye sigh muttering something along the lines of "I am being the rational one here," before completely falling back into silence._

_"Raye!" Mina warned again._

_There was a long moment of silence where the tension returned. No one quite knowing what to say as the revelation of what Serena was implying slowly sunk in, evading their senses. "I am waiting!" Raye finally cried, while the hostility had vanished it had be replaced with bitterness and resentment. _

_Serena took a deep breath trying to steady her nerves. As it was the decision she had made had been hard enough. She knew the others wouldn't completely understand but Raye's reaction was not what she had expected. She had expected them all to be upset and indifferent but the lack of sympathy had thrown her completely from the direction she had wanted to take the conversation. "All I am saying is I want to keep this matter from him for now, I don't know what the future is going to hold or what will happen."_

_"But why?" Amy asked using her ever rational voice._ She should have be a psychologist¸_ Serena mused trying to pull all her thoughts together. She needed them to understand._

_"It's just what I need for now. I need this for my own sanity." There were silent murmurings among the others, all except Lita who was eyeing Serena with a deep compassion and a heartbreaking expression._

_"I will not keep this from him, it's absolutely absurd!" Raye exclaimed unable to jeep the animosity from her voice again._

_The words came rushing out of Serena's mouth before she had a chance to even stop herself. "Then you won't be a part of their lives!" Serena shouted back. It had been the last thing she had ever wanted to threaten anybody with, but if this is what she needed to do to keep her own sanity and her secret she would do it._

_Raye grunted a sharp intake of breath. "You'll regret this," she bit out sadistically before her line went dead._

Serena groaned leaning her head against her palms. The curiosity of knowing what was in this email slowly eating away at her. Her hand on the mouse it lingered for a long moment over the email before finally let her curiosity take over.

**From: Rachel Donalty ()**

**Sent: **Mon 8/3/09 4:30 PM

**To:Serena Hunter **()

Serena,

I am engaged.

Raye

Serena stared at the screen unsure of how to take the three words on the page. While she was excited of the prospect that Raye had finally found somebody to spend the rest of her life with. A large lump settled in the pit of her stomach, and a pang of hurt shot through her. It was so formal, emotionless, just like their relationship had become. Serena thought of the pact they had made in high school, if everything turned out the way it was supposed to Serena was supposed to be the maid of honor at the wedding. It was just the way the chips had fallen when they had decided way back when who would be whose maid of honor. But now, somehow, Serena doubted she would even get an invite, after all Darien would more than likely be there.

_Darien,_ for the first time in a long time she allowed herself to think his name. A wave of uncertainty washed over her at the very thought of his name. Had she made the right decision? Till this day she wasn't sure but she had survived this long without him. She was a survivor, and at that moment this survivor had two children who were impatiently waiting to get to the park. They were her priority, what she had put before herself for so long she wasn't sure what it felt like to be a priority anymore.

Sighing she pushed all thoughts from her mind and quickly got herself ready. It was time to stop looking back and push forward. _Always forward._

**A/N: Alright so here comes the second part of the fic…. If you hadn't noticed I am splitting this into two parts plus the prologue and I am still undecided about an epilogue I will leave that up to my reader at the end of the whole things… I have one planned but I dunno if I am actually going to do it. Either way I know some of you think that this is an outdated and overdone plot… but I do have a lot of things that are going to happen believe me nothing is ever easy for my characters besides if you feel it is overdone or to predictable let me know. I would love to hear all of your predictions in a review!!! Lol… anyway… review and let me know what you think and don't hate Serena too much… she's just scared of the future and of life in general when it comes to herself…. although she is not to self aware if you ask me… more concerned with other things….**

**Lastly, I am branching out from Sailor Moon since it seems to be a dying art form in so many ways… which is sad if you ask me but check out some of my other fic… especially if you're at all into the Twilight fandom!!! But don't worry i am all about finishing this story!**

**Sorry for the long note… I am kinda opposed to them… **

**Review and let me know…..**


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